


Aftermath Chapter 4

by DJH1950



Series: Aftermath [4]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-02 18:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 37,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10224023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DJH1950/pseuds/DJH1950
Summary: The Aftermath Saga continued.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Protocols](https://archiveofourown.org/works/920430) by [elev](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elev/pseuds/elev). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks to Elev for allowing me to use characters she created. Read her work- it's amazing.

_**The Aftermath saga continues. We pick up the story after Root and Shaw both endured medical scares and it was discovered the Machine had lost whatever morality it originally possessed. I started this after POI ended and I believed the producers left too many opportunities for continuation. I appreciate all critiques and comments. I don’t own any of the characters in POI.** _

“Damn it Harry, She crashed again.”

Root turned from her laptop concern written across her features. Their work trying to rebuild a _conscience_ (for lack of a better word) into the Machine had hit snag after snag for the past several days. Initial steps seemed promising as the coding to reinstall commands which would incorporate moral judgements was relatively easy to write.

Coming up with the parameters for the moral judgements, not so easy. The arguments got feisty and loud before Shaw of all people came up with a possible solution.

“Look, the founders of this country used Judeo-Christian ethics building the foundation of the government. Can’t you just input a similar ethical foundation and put the dicey questions to a committee for consideration. Hell, you could even create a virtual committee with members like Plato, Aristotle, Moses, Jesus, etc.

“Upload all their teachings into its core functionality and let it make some decisions based on the arguments that we all accept as moral. And add a line or two that kicks out questions that are too ambiguous. If there’s no answer- flag it for discussion. QED.”

Except, of course it wasn’t QED. But it was a start. And Shaw was brought in to the 9:00AM strategy meetings on a regular basis. _No good deed goes unpunished._

Once the basic foundation of the conscience was determined, the next step was to install it onto the copy ( _clone?_ ) of the Machine they created and observe the Machine’s reaction. And the reaction was swift, surprising and, as it proved, expensive.

At 12:01AM they ran the first test with the Machine’s new conscience. At 12:01.00.01 (yes, one one-hundredth of a second after midnight) the Machine crashed and shut completely down. Interestingly, the diagnostics of that one one-hundredth of a second yielded 165 pages of code and error messages that required painstaking debugging to attempt to isolate the issue that lobotomized the cloned Machine.

Analysis of the pages proved inconclusive so the team (Finch, Root and Gen) ran an isolated version removing the “virtual committee” altogether. That got them an extra two one-hundredths of a second before system shutdown. Four other tweaks yielded similar results- in reality they were making zero progress.

They had set a schedule that gave them a semblance of normality, more for Gen than the others. Tweaks to the system were done between 7:30 and 11:30AM, then installed for the 12:30 run. At 12:45 the group began analyzing the results, then worked on potential fixes until finished.

They shot for 6:00PM but Harold tended to work late into the evening- sometimes when Root, Shaw and Gen showed the next morning he would still be dressed in the previous day’s clothing. The others tried to ignore the indications that Finch was taking this to obsessive levels, but Root decided to bring it up this afternoon while Gen was off tutoring and Shaw was assisting the medical staff ( _one of the solutions to keep her distracted_ ).

After briefly discussing the day’s failure, Root and Finch went to work as Gen and Shaw headed off to their afternoon’s routine. Root waited until they had been working about a half-hour then jumped in.

“Harry, I’m worried about you. We will solve this eventually, She’s been operating independently of a ‘conscience’ for over a year and the world hasn’t ended. You’re working too hard.”

“What ‘She’ is doing out there without any restrictions scares me Ms. … Root. Our recent discovery that the Machine has been working with some entity ‘cloning’ organs for our team may only be the tip of the iceberg.

“Remember, we know the Machine has recruited at least one team we had no knowledge of until right before we took down Samaritan. How many others are out there? And how many actions has the Machine taken that would remind us of the way Samaritan viewed humanity- something to be controlled rather than aided?

“I’m sorry, but we need to fix this, then I can relax.”

“We also need you at your peak Harold, not functioning at less than 100% because you don’t get any rest.”

“I’ll take that under advisement, now let’s look at this error message….”

….

Reese worked his way through the seventh floor quickly. He had already confirmed all employees had left the IT Department of Welch Technologies before taking the elevator to the restricted floor. Ensuring that no stragglers had stayed behind he activated his comm.

“Clear Ellie, let’s get this done.”

“Roger that. Hey John, this reminds me of old times.” Elizabeth Ruben released the elevator and carried in the briefcase and toolbox they brought along for this particular operation. Someone at Welch was investigating activities that could lead eventually to the Machine and John and Elizabeth were assigned the task of diverting the investigation.

Reese’s response was to huff and deflect.

“Reminiscing can wait Ellie, get the blade installed.”

Elizabeth flipped off her comm and headed toward the Server Room.

_I wonder what’s got his undies in a bundle?_

She withdrew her fake ID badge and ran it through the reader. An audible click signaled the door unlocking. Ruben listened as the Machine directed her to the correct tower and she set to work.

Within ten minutes the correct server blade had been replaced with a duplicate that contained just enough code to throw whoever was investigating in a direction that provided the Machine with anonymity and would provide the investigator with an unsatisfying answer, but an answer nonetheless.

It would also provide a trail back to the source, allowing Harold and the team to investigate the investigator. Harold had decided if the background proved benign he was going to recruit whoever managed to dig up enough information on the Machine to get this far.

_Finch had said, “We can always use more talent. If this person could potentially find a trail that leads back to the Machine, we could possibly divert that ability into something that would help us.”_

Ellie activated her comm. “We’re done here, John, let’s get going.”

She met up with Reese and the two headed back to the elevator. They presented their work order to the guard in the lobby and signed out. Somewhere, an invoice for routine AC maintenance was generated and their trip was lost in the normal shuffle of business for a typical corporate entity.

Crucial maybe, boring definitely. Reese and Elizabeth had flown from Albuquerque to El Paso earlier that day and by the time their operation was complete it was approaching 11:00PM. The return flight didn’t leave until 10:30 the next morning so they checked into the hotel closest to the airport.

“Want to get a drink John? We’ve got time since we don’t have to be out of here until 8AM.”

“I’m just going to bed.”

“John, what’s wrong? You’ve been off all day.”

“Good night Ellie.” Reese turned toward his room.

“If I screwed up or did anything to piss you off, I’m sorry.”

John hesitated, then dropped his head. Turning back he smiled faintly.

“Not you, Ellie, you did great. You _are_ great. It’s me, and it’s something I need to work out. I’ll see you in the morning.” He slid his card through the lock and entered his room without another word.

Elizabeth shook her head and called it a night.

….

Shaw was waiting for the pair as they left the airport terminal.

“Hey you two, your ride’s here.”

Elizabeth smiled at Shaw and hugged her.

“Thanks for picking us up.”

Reese nodded at Shaw, threw his carryon in the back of the SUV and climbed in the back seat without a word. Shaw and Elizabeth shared a look, Elizabeth shrugged and climbed in the passenger seat. The ride was only fifteen minutes but seemed longer as Elizabeth and Shaw updated each other on the past day’s events while John brooded in silence.

After arriving at the hospital, Reese said he was going to the gym and disappeared. As Shaw and Elizabeth walked down toward the area Root and Finch were working on the Machine’s latest crash, Shaw looked at Elizabeth.

“What did you do to him anyway? He’s got a bug up his ass big time.”

“I don’t know, Shaw, I even asked him last night if I screwed up or something. He assured me it was him, not me, but I couldn’t get anything out of him.”

Shaw accompanied Elizabeth until they reached the conference room. As they watched Root and Finch work, Shaw turned away.

“Go on in and help them, I’m going to the gym.”

Elizabeth called after her.

“No fighting, Shaw, you’re still recovering from brain surgery.”

“Reese would be the only one who had to worry about head trauma, but I’m not going to fight with him. Just talk some sense into him.”

Arriving at the gym, Shaw found Reese lifting weights. She walked in and approached her friend and partner.

“Spot you?”

Reese looked up at her and frowned.

“I wasn’t planning on using free weights today, Shaw, what’s really on your mind?”

“You’re screwing up the team. I noticed you weren’t your normal charming self this afternoon and Elizabeth said you’d been acting weird all yesterday. Brood all you want, John, but don’t let it rub off on others.”

“Since when are you my shrink?”

“Look, John, I’ve respected your confidence and want to continue to do so. But you’re rubbing people the wrong way and it could affect your and your partners’ performance and safety in the field. We both know what’s going on.

“She’s recovering. Dr. Ingram’s holistic treatments and Dr. West’s experimental ultrasound are working. Her mind is coming back, and even Elizabeth says she’s getting more and more like her old self. Her eyes, man, her eyes are something else when she’s engaged. I get it, but you’ve got to do something.

“You can’t sulk around like a lovesick teenager and take out all your angst on your teammates. Just do it, John, the worst that can happen is you get shot down.

“Ask Shannon out. Or I’ll have to intervene.”

Reese stared at her.

“Shit… alright but if this goes south I’m blaming you.”

“Whatever gets you through the night.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me Shaw. This is a bad, BAD idea.”

“John’s an adult, Elizabeth, and so is your mom. You’ve got to let them grow up sometime.”

“But Mama will hurt him. She’ll use him, then throw him away just like she did my father. Then you, me and the rest of the team will have to put him back together. She’s never done anything else with the men in her life- and she’s not even nice about it.

“One of the reasons I couldn’t wait to move to New York was the steady stream of men that moved through her life. It seemed like every six weeks there was a new one, and the few times I met them- poof, they were gone before I could remember their names.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love her- but I also know her. And she won’t be good for John. Sooner or later, she will tire of him, just like she tires of every man. And we will be left to pick up the pieces. This will not end well.”

….

“I had a really nice time John, surprisingly so.”

“I’m not sure how to take that.”

“Well, you asked me to go to dinner with you like a grade schooler asking a girl out for the first time.”

It was funny and almost miraculous that it happened the way it did. Reese had left the gym after his conversation with Shaw and headed for a shower and to get dressed. He rehearsed a short invitation to dinner for when he saw Shannon, and thought he had it under control.

He figured the next chance he got to talk to her wouldn’t be for several hours if not a couple of days when he headed down to see how the work on the Machine was progressing. Unexpectedly, his opportunity immediately presented itself.

When he arrived, Elizabeth, Dr. Tillman and Shannon were talking outside the conference room where the team was doing its work on the machine. Dr. Tillman looked up at Reese’s approach and smiled.

“John, it’s good to see you back. I understand everything went well.”

“Yes, it was really nice working with Ellie again. She’s as good as anyone I ever worked with before Finch recruited me. If she hadn’t left to go home, I expect she would have surpassed me by now.”

“I still have time, old man.” Elizabeth’s smile belied her words. Reese just smiled and shook his head.

“There’s no respect for one’s elders, that’s for sure.”

The conversation was interrupted by Finch sticking his head out of the conference room.

“Ms. Ruben, do you think you could come in here? Ms. Gro… Root thinks you should take a look at this and give us your input.”

Elizabeth looked surprised and pleased.

“Of course, I’ll be right in.” She looked at Dr. Tillman and her mother. “I’ll see you two a little later. Megan, you said you had a few patients to attend to. John, would you mind keeping my mother company?”

Reese looked like he had just been asked to deliver a baby. Red-faced, he attempted to recover and smiled weakly.

“S-sh- sure. I’d be happy to.” Elizabeth disappeared inside the conference room as Dr. Tillman turned to leave after a word to Elizabeth as she was closing the door.

“Call me when you’re done- I’ll be an hour or so.”

Elizabeth nodded and smiled as the door closed in front of her. Dr. Tillman smiled at the two left standing in the hall and headed for the elevators.

Reese cleared his throat and looked around, obviously uncomfortable.

“So, Shann… Shannon, are you busy tonight?” Reese cringed inside at his feeble attempt. Shannon raised her eyebrows, then smiled.

“Not anymore than usual. I’ll probably head to the dining room then back to my suite to watch TV.”

“Would you like to go somewhere and get dinner? There are some pretty decent places to eat in downtown Albuquerque.

“Plus the casino out near I-25 has a nice restaurant.”

Shannon’s smile grew exponentially.

“Before the accident, my friend Deb and I would hit the casinos in Cripple Creek a few times a week. We would eat- the food is generally decent and affordable, then we’d hit the slots for a few hours before heading home.

“Since the accident, I haven’t been able to stand the flashing lights and noise all of those places are famous for. Since Dr. West and Dr. Ingram have been working with me, I’d like to try again, I think I’d still really enjoy it.”

….

The night flew by- a quiet dinner, followed by a couple of hours playing the quarter slots. John was a gambling neophyte while Shannon's experience proved little help on machines designed to randomly pay out at a rate that guarantees the players lose in the long run.

After playing for over an hour, they wandered the casino floor until they found an area recently deserted by a group of young ladies attending a bachelorette party. Reese groaned at some of the “party favors” the group had left behind. Shannon laughed at the suggestive items, then shook her head.

“I’m not sure this is what Elizabeth Stanton had in mind. She’d be so disappointed.”

“Who?”

“Early feminist- my Elizabeth’s namesake. I used to be a true believer- I still believe in equality but wonder if the movement got sidetracked. I want to play here for a bit.”

As she sat down, John wandered over to a bank on the other side of where Shannon had sat. Reaching into his pocket, he came up with a handful of quarters and a few dollar coins he had acquired during the evening.

_I’d rather just watch her._

He put the change in several machines, hit the buttons and started to walk away. Seconds later, one of the machines began to flash lights and emit a persistent ringing sound. Curious, he wandered back to it and saw a display flashing and a counter spinning rapidly upward. He leaned between two machines toward the aisle Shannon was in.

“Hey Shannon, what does this mean?”

Shannon stood and came over to the machine. Her eyes widened as she checked out the action. After about 30 seconds she looked at John.

“I think it means we should cash out and leave, you just won almost $5000.”

Reese just stared at the machine. Then, as the chaos came to an end, he shook his head and took the paper the machine had dispensed. He almost seemed disappointed as he looked at his companion.

“I was on my way over to watch you play.”

Shannon looked at John and smiled.

“I’m done playing.” There was just a hint of innuendo in her voice, but it was enough to send Reese reeling. Red faced, he stood speechless for a few seconds. Then, recovering, he took Shannon’s arm and led her to the cashier.

The cashier handed over a stack of $50’s and $100’s after John filled out the appropriate forms for the IRS and John stuffed them in the pocket of his suit coat. He noted the four early 20’s men standing about twenty-five feet away from the Cashier’s Desk and made the group following them as they left the casino and headed to the parking lot.

It was at this point Shannon commented on both her nice evening and John’s awkward invite. John stopped as they were still several rows from their SUV and turned toward her. They were less than ten feet from a thirty-foot motor home that marked the end of RV parking and the beginning of regular parking.

“I think it’s about to get even more interesting. Come over here.”

Reese directed her toward the cab of the motor home. The actual living area jutted out slightly from the cab, creating a small corner Reese backed Shannon into. She looked at John with a slight frown and tilted her head with an unspoken question.

“Stay right here for just a minute.”

Shannon watched as Reese reached under his coat and grabbed a gun from a concealed holster. She noticed he was looking over her shoulder and realized he was using the driver’s window to look out at the lot. At the same time she noticed the group that was approaching the pair and separating to surround them.

Reese smiled at Shannon and winked, then turning he put his right hand in his suit coat pocket and turned to the four young men.

“Jeez guys, can’t a couple of friends get a little privacy?”

“I saw you got lucky in there amigo, we just thought you might want to share.” The apparent leader approached as his accomplices continued to separate. Reese’s positioning of Shannon and himself hampered the group’s tactics though as they couldn’t get enough space to truly divide John’s attention.

“Sorry, I’m not really the sharing type.”

At his words, the four men all reached into their pants and withdrew knives, blades ranging in size from six to nine inches. The group began to approach Reese and Shannon. Reese smiled faintly and cocked his head to the side.

“You guys made one mistake.”

The leader hesitated, then regaining his bravado brandished the knife.

“Looks like you’re the one making the mistake friend.”

Shaking his head, Reese brought his gun up and leveled it at the leader. As fear replaced his cockiness, John spoke softly.

“You idiots brought knives to a gun fight. Now drop them on the ground.”

The three behind the leader dropped their knives and ran into the darkness. The leader, smile faltering began to back away. Reese stepped forward, gun pointing right at the man’s head.

“I said drop it!”

The man dropped the knife and backed away, hands up in surrender. Reese waved him in the direction his accomplices had fled and watched him disappear into the darkness. John went over and retrieved all four knives, pocketed them and turned to Shannon.

“You OK?”

Shannon smiled at Reese, eyes dancing. Reese’s first thought was _those eyes, oh man I could look into them all night_. She raised up her right hand. John saw she was holding a taser, which she pressed the trigger on and activated it. As the small bolt of electricity buzzed, she smiled.

“I was ready if you needed help.”

Reese actually laughed.

“You and Root need to go out some night.”

“What do you mean John?”

“Ask Shaw.”

“That’s awfully cryptic.”

“Fine, when Root and Shaw first met, Root tased Shaw, threatened her with an iron, then left her zip-tied to a chair for government agents to find. Then she tased Shaw a second time so she could talk to her about working together. To say the start of their relationship was edgy is putting it mildly.”

Shannon was quiet for a few moments. When she looked up, her eyes sparkled with mischief.

“I won’t use this on you, John, no matter what. Or are you into that sort of thing?”

Reese smiled faintly, then shook his head.

“I’ve had enough real pain in my life, I don’t ever want to seek it out.”

Then, realizing the implications of Shannon’s statement, he looked at her sharply. Gathering his courage he stared into those eyes. He decided to take another leap.

“What are _y_ ou _into_ Shannon?”

Her eyes went from mischievous, to haunting to… something else (something that took Reese’s breath away) in seconds. Reese felt like he was being sucked into the vortex of a tornado. After a long silence, she responded.

“There’s only one way to find out.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Gen, the Machine thinks of Finch as _Admin_ , it or She doesn’t view him as a threat.”

The 9:00AM brainstorming sessions had become wilder by the day. Originally just Finch, Root and Gen they had added both Shaw and Elizabeth to the regular mix. While Shaw had very little to say but the things she said always seemed to advance the discussion, both Root and Gen liked to toss ideas like rice at a wedding, hoping some would land in the right place.

Elizabeth and Finch both were more reserved. When they offered, it was after thinking through possibilities and consequences. Their ideas came more slowly but more time was spent on them. They also were the ones who grounded discussions when they became too esoteric.

So when Elizabeth responded to Gen’s idea that the speed of the shutdown led her to believe the Machine was short circuiting the changes consciously after viewing it as a threat, she was skeptical to say the least.

“Harold built her, how could She consider him anything but her ‘creator’, her ‘god’?”

They were all seated at the conference table. Harold sat at the head, Gen and Shaw to his right and Elizabeth and Root on his left. Root glanced at Elizabeth, then spoke up.

“Wait, Elizabeth, what if we’ve missed something? What if there’s a factor that we haven’t considered that is causing her to view Harold with suspicion? Remember, he started work on her years ago, then concentrated on recreating her after Nathan Ingram died. Is it possible that the Machine has ‘evolved’ for a better word and has constructed her own defenses since all the trauma that she’s gone through?

“Think about it, she’s been almost destroyed twice, once by Samaritan, once by the Ice-9 virus. She’s also gone through the equivalent of a lobotomy when Harold released her restrictions. It does make some sense that she would view any attempts to change her ‘essence’ or personality as threatening and take countermeasures.

“We know she has a personality from her calling Harold father, her back and forth with Sam and her choosing my voice- why shouldn’t she have a defense mechanism. We may have to figure a way to build trust before we can even begin to rebuild a conscience.”

Their discussion continued in this vein for several more minutes before they decided to adjourn for the day. As Finch and Root stayed behind to work more on the programming, Shaw, Elizabeth and Gen wandered out into the hall. Elizabeth put a hand on Gen’s shoulder.

“Gen, you really contribute in there. I think in the future you could easily contribute to the science of this stuff to Finch’s level. You should consider teaching or R&D for your future.”

Gen rolled her eyes.

“You guys never quit- I keep telling everyone I want to be a spy like Shaw when I’m done with school. I do like tutoring the kids here, and I enjoy the sessions we have every morning, but I still want to be like her when I grow up.”

She looked at Shaw and smiled. Sam, treading carefully, tried not to show any frustration or anger even as she thought- _for such a smart kid, she sure is dumb sometimes._

“Gen, we’ve got plenty of time to figure out what you’re going to do with your life. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?”

“I’m going downstairs to work with some of the kids. I’ll see you later.”

Elizabeth and Shaw watched her disappear down the hall. Shaw ran her hands through her hair in frustration.

“She just won’t let go of that. I’m running out of things to say to her.”

“It might just be a phase, Shaw, maybe she’ll grow out of it.”

“This _phase_ has been going on for years, ever since I met her. I’m worried that it’s never going to pass and that she will try to follow me down that road. And believe me, that’s a road no one should go down.

“Reese and I are anomalies- we should both be dead by now. I don’t want Gen to face that kind of dangerous future but I haven’t figured out how to stop her.”

“Maybe she’ll stop herself, Shaw, she’s a smart kid who’s had a ton of trauma in her life. Now, with you and Root as constants, maybe she’ll gradually change her view of what she wants the future to hold.”

“So, Yoda, what do you have on your head today?”

“Shaw, you’re being nasty.”

They smiled at each other.

“Can’t help teasing you, Elizabeth- think about it. You’re saying Root, the epitome of ‘perky psycho’ and me, a sociopath, are some sort of steadying influence for her. Hell, we’re all a group of misfits who are lucky to be alive and functioning in this world. I only hope Gen can overcome everything and live a life with some form of happiness in it. God knows, she’s had enough sadness and tragedy in it to this point.”

“But you two have turned it around Shaw. She’s got love, family and purpose in her life now. Don’t underestimate the positive effect you all have had on her. And I don’t think sociopath fits you anymore- if it ever did.

“And as to what’s on my head,” Elizabeth paused and waved at the glass entrance doors of the hospital, “it look’s like a conversation with my mother is going to be first.”

As they looked down they saw both Shannon and Reese entering the hospital wearing the same clothes they had left on their “date” the previous evening. Shaw and Elizabeth looked at each other with vastly different expressions.

Shaw’s eyes danced with humor.

Elizabeth’s flashed with anger.

“Give them a chance, Elizabeth. As I said before, they’re both adults.”

“She’s not going to break his heart, Shaw, he’s been through enough.”

“It’s his heart to break, I don’t think you can stop chemistry.”

“At least I can tell her what he’s been through. She needs to stop.”

“Go easy, Elizabeth, you don’t want to say or do anything you’ll regret.”

Elizabeth shook her head and headed toward the entrance. She held back as Reese turned and kissed her mom gently on the lips, smiled and headed off toward his quarters. Shannon smiled at his back as he disappeared down the corridor and turned toward the stairs Elizabeth was descending.

“Where’ve you been Mama?” The words came out harshly, causing Shannon to frown slightly. Then recovering, she smiled and looked her daughter in the eye.

“We had a very nice evening, Elizabeth, but the details are none of your business.”

“John’s my friend and I don’t want to see him hurt.”

Shannon looked at her daughter for a moment before answering.

“Do you really want to do this in the middle of the hospital’s entry way? Wouldn’t you rather have this discussion in private?”

“Fine- upstairs, now.”

Elizabeth stalked back up the stairway. Shannon, shaking her head followed. Shaw decided to make herself scarce.

  
….

 

The two had marched silently to the suite they shared in the hospital. As they entered the sitting area, Elizabeth slammed the door shut with enough force that her mother jumped. Turning back to her daughter, she looked into her eyes, confusion on her face.

“Why are you so angry?”

“You need to stay away from Reese. You will not treat him like you’ve treated all the other men in your life, Mama, his heart will break when you discard him.”

Shannon’s eyes flashed as her own anger bubbled to the surface.

“I’m your mother, Elizabeth, what I do in my private life is none of your business.”

“That’s been your attitude since I was little and it screwed me up royally. I struggled with having any relationship and I think it goes back to growing up with every man you met going through the revolving door that was you and your life. I never met a man who I could bond with- they were gone before I even knew most of their names. The first time I met a man who cared for me and was willing to invest time in me was John.

“He saved my life, then took me under his wing and taught me how to defend myself. And while I’ll admit to having had a crush on him at the beginning, now I feel like he’s my older brother, even a father figure. If you think I’m going to stand back and watch him end up on the ash heap of your relationships like everyone _including my father_ , you’re out of your mind.

“I love John, and I’ll do everything I can to see he isn’t hurt by you.”

Shannon stared speechless at her daughter. Then, face falling she began to cry.

“Oh honey, I never realized you thought that I did that to your father. I’ll admit I’ve done it to men since, but that never happened with your father. I don’t know what makes you think that.”

“Letters Mama, a box full of letters. When I was fourteen, I had just met a boy- Billy Baxter. We called him BB. He and I were so young, puppy love I guess. I remember this was a couple years after Gray died.

“I was exploring in your room and dressing up in some of your clothes. I remember trying to hang up a dress so you wouldn’t know what I was doing. The dress fell off the hanger and toward the back of your closet. When I grabbed it, my hand hit a shoebox. Curiosity got the best of me and I looked inside.

“There were pictures of you years before, but at the bottom was a small batch of letters rubber banded together. They were from 'J' that's what you once told me you called him. They talked about how much he loved you and how he couldn't wait until you two could be together. Then they stopped- no breakup letters no 'Dear Shannon' letter, no how could you do this to me, no anything. It was like you got what you wanted, tired of him and just _stopped_.

"The letters reminded me of trophies- maybe you only kept them because he was my father- I don't know. I saw some letters before this you had thrown out from boyfriends you dumped- they were always in the garbage by your desk. You treated him like every other man and it seemed to me that’s how you believed ‘relationships’ should be.

“I broke up with BB a week or so later, and never felt close to anyone else, until I became part of this team. They took me in, they loved me for who I was, never really tried to take anything I didn’t want to give.

“Reese is a big part of that and you can’t just use him and discard him. He’s been through so much, lost so many he cared for including two women he loved- you can’t do this to him. I can’t let you do this to him.”


	4. Chapter 4

Shannon approached her daughter and took her by her forearms. She started then stopped several times, tears spilling out and tracking down her cheeks. Finally she found her voice.

“Your father was, _is_ the love of my life. I never would have, never could have and _didn’t_ treat him like ‘every other man’. What happened to us had nothing to do with how I treated men after. In fact, since your father everything has been ‘after’ as far as I was concerned.”

She hesitated briefly, gathering her thoughts.

“I met Jay right out of college. I was a first year intern, living in a rundown apartment complex in the Springs with two other girls. Every month I had to go up to Denver to put on symposiums for corporate clients. They were week-long and I would stay in the hotel where the symposium was held.

“The way they worked was that I was there to handle the details while a speaker was flown in to actually put on the sessions. He would lecture about half the time and show videos the other half. After doing this for a few months, I arrived one at my work table one Monday morning and discovered a new speaker had been assigned to this.

“His name was David Jason Harris, but his friends called him ‘Jay’. He was 31 and he was hot, no he was _H.O.T.!_ I’d had several boyfriends in high school and college and while I had fun, I never considered them serious. When I first met Jay I actually wanted to stay away from him, thinking he was one of those ‘pretty boys’ who got by on their looks alone.

“Over the first couple times, I gradually changed my attitude toward him.

“The second symposium we did together he came to me on Thursday afternoon and asked if I’d have dinner with him. It really came out of the blue- we’d talked and I liked him, even respected him because he didn’t seem overly taken with the way his looks affected others.

“Women were hitting on him constantly, and he took it all in stride. He deflected all of them with a grace and good humor I found intriguing. I quite frankly wanted to go out with him, but had plans that evening with several friends from college. I asked for a rain check. He smiled faintly and said ‘Of course’.

“The next day, Friday when we were packing up and he was getting ready to head for the airport, he asked if I had a minute to talk. We headed for the coffee shop and sat down in a booth. He was really nervous. I started to say something just to get this conversation going, wherever it was going.

“Suddenly he just said ‘I’m married’. I must have just stared at him for a couple of minutes, then said the only thing I could think of, ‘I see’. He reached over and took my hand and said something like ‘I know how strange this is but I’ve been in a loveless marriage for years.’

“He then proceeded to tell me that he didn’t normally ask women out, because he didn’t want to screw up his marriage even though he said he wasn’t in love with his wife anymore. He said when he was still in high school, he’d gotten his girlfriend pregnant and married her because it was the responsible thing to do.

“He told me, ‘I’m not sure either of us are very happy these days, but we have our daughter to think about. Courtney is fourteen and the only thing we share and love equally. I can’t, I won’t put my daughter in a position where she has to grow up in a fractured home. So I’ve resigned myself to waiting until she’s out of high school and out of the house to do anything about it.’

“I stood to leave, I was rattled. I went from, ‘wow this guy’s hot and interested in me’ to ‘ugh, he’s married’ in minutes. I turned to leave but before I could walk away, he reached for my hand. ‘I couldn’t take you to dinner without letting you know, I couldn’t do that to you. I’m really attracted to you, but I’m actually glad you couldn’t go last night, so I could be honest.

“‘I’ve met a few women in my life I’ve been physically attracted to, but I’ve never met anyone who got to me both physically and emotionally. I’ve never met anyone like you. I know this is crazy but the feeling is so strong I couldn’t not tell you and I couldn’t lie to you. Please forgive me, I hope I haven’t upset you.’”

Shannon stopped briefly, dabbed at her eyes and took a deep breath. Elizabeth had never seen her mother so raw, so emotional, so _naked_ \- she stood silently and let her continue.

“I told him I didn’t know him well enough for him to upset me, but I had to go. The truth was, he _had_ really upset me, because as I listened to him talk about his daughter and his commitment to doing right by her, I was torn between wanting to run far away from this _married_ man and wanting to learn more about the incredibly good-looking and incredibly loving man he seemed to be.

“We said our goodbyes and I thought about asking to be reassigned from the monthly symposiums. Ultimately I needed the job and what I was doing was getting me noticed by both my company and some of our corporate clients. I went back the next month, and the month after that. Jay was there, and while our relationship stayed professional during the sessions, we began to have coffee, dinner and a drink after work.

“He never came on to me sexually. But he came on to me emotionally. He took me Christmas shopping the week of the December symposium and bought me an expensive watch. He told me he couldn’t give me what he wanted which was a real relationship and that week he told me he was falling in love with me.

“Understand, Elizabeth, there was still no physical relationship so I didn’t know how to respond. Over the Christmas Holidays I thought long and hard about our ‘relationship’ which wasn’t really a relationship. He seemed sincere, and he was getting to me. It stayed the same through the winter, we’d have dinner, coffee whatever during the week he was there, then he’d leave and I’d be left to sort out my feelings.

“January 18th was the first time he kissed me. It was a Sunday night, we had met in the bar after both checking in for the week. We met, had a drink then headed to our rooms. It was like it had been except we were near each other on the same floor. He walked me to my door, and as he turned to leave, he stopped.

“I stopped. The world stopped. I can still see his face in that moment. I’d never seen that look in a man’s face before. It seemed so kind, so loving and yet so passionate. As he stood there, I decided he wasn’t leaving without kissing me. So I wrapped an arm around him, pulled him down and we kissed.

“It was magic. It could’ve gone on for hours, I know it was only seconds. His hands drifted down my sides, he grabbed me from behind and pulled me to him. We both were hot for each other- no doubt about it. Then he stopped, and looked into my eyes with regret. ‘I don’t want this to be like a meaningless one night stand, Shannon, I’m willing to wait.’ Well, I wasn’t, but the moment was past so we said our goodnights and headed off to our separate rooms.

“So now I’m plotting to get him in bed and he’s responding by writing me love letters. You’ve seen them- all but _one_. Every letter grabs me more by the heart, but I wanted him physically so my emotional attachment would have an anchor, if that makes any sense. Three more months went by.

“April’s symposium comes and there’s a massive blizzard, the type Colorado is famous for. It hit on Friday morning, closed the airports, gridlocked the freeways and generally shut down the city. Most of the attendees got out Thursday night, but because we were putting it on we couldn’t really leave.

“Jay represented a huge corporate client so they ‘comped’ him a suite on the 24th floor. I was an intern, I got a regular room on 6. Jay asked if I wanted to see the city from way up and I thought, ‘maybe this is it’. We went up to his suite, took in the view for a few minutes, then I looked at him and said, ‘How about a drink?’ He knew, honey, in that moment he knew what I was really asking.

“He looked at me, took my hands in his and asked if I really wanted ‘only’ a drink. I responded by kissing him and we headed for the bedroom. We didn’t come back out for twenty-four hours, except to go to the bathroom.

Shannon’s eyes had stopped leaking, but there was a sad, wistful look in her eyes. Smiling, she shook her head and continued.

“It was indescribable, but I won’t go into detail. I will tell you, no man has ever come close to the experience your father and I had during that one twenty-four hour period. When the phone rang in the room and the airline said they had a seat for him on the six o’clock flight back home, we both were disappointed, though I think we were also done, exhausted.

“The next month I was looking forward to the week we’d be together. I was like a kid before Christmas. Sunday night came and I waited in the hotel lobby for him until almost midnight. I finally went to the desk clerk and asked, When is Mr. Harris coming in?

“I was told there was no Mr. Harris registered at the hotel. The next morning, I was setting up the tables when a stranger came up to me and introduced himself as the speaker for the week. When I asked what happened to Jay, I was informed that he had taken a leave of absence for ‘personal reasons’.

“I didn’t know what to think. I tried calling him at the office but was told the same thing I was told by the replacement speaker. I had no way of calling him except trying to locate his home phone and wasn’t ready to do that. The week went by in a blur- I did everything on autopilot, my mind wondering what had happened.

“The end of the conference came and I headed home- sad, confused and a little angry. I brooded the entire drive home, but decided it could have been something that had a simple explanation. I had decided to let it go until the next month that Jay had always been open and honest with me and he deserved a chance to explain.

“When I arrived at my apartment, I went through the week’s mail. And there it was- a letter addressed in handwriting I had come to love and look forward to. Only this time a sliver of doubt clouded my excitement. I opened the envelope carefully and began to read. Three short pages left me a lifetime of heartbreak.

“I sat for hours in my room after reading it. The sun went down- I left the room as dark as my mood. Finally, after at least three or four hours had passed I took the letter and carefully ripped it in half, then half again. I ripped once more intending to make a small pile for the funeral pyre marking the end of my life- at least my love life.

“I piled the pieces in a small bowl and found a lighter. As I returned to the bowl, something made me hesitate. I lost my nerve and took the pile and dumped it in the drawer of my nightstand, laid down and cried. And cried…

“I stayed in my room for almost two days, crying and raging- crying for the loss of my love and raging at a God I didn’t even know if I believed in for teasing me with true love, then stealing it from me before I could ever truly enjoy it.

“I finally came out Sunday evening, and got ready for the next week. I went through the next three weeks on autopilot, but before I knew it, it was time to go up to Denver again. That was the week from hell, I began to feel sick every morning and dragged myself through the sessions just so I could head back to my room each evening and go to bed.

“Thursday I called and made a doctor’s appointment for the next afternoon. I left Denver as soon as possible, drove straight to the doctor’s office and made the appointment with ten minutes to spare. One short exam, one blood test and my life forever changed.

“‘Ms. Ruben, you’re pregnant. About two months along is my estimate.’ I still remember sitting there speechless when he delivered the news. I hadn’t been a nun, but I hadn’t had a physical relationship in over a year. Because of that, I had gotten lax with taking my birth-control pills and the thought that I might not be protected never entered my mind.

“I spent another weekend in my room. I never really considered terminating the pregnancy, but did wonder if I would give you up for adoption or try to raise you as a single mom. Ultimately, I wanted to keep you as much as anything to keep the memory of Jay alive for me.

“I landed a new job, one of the clients was trying to recruit me for months to help with a start-up. They offered a benefit I thought would be perfect for my situation- on site day-care. Also the money was better than I was making and they were offering stock options as bonuses. I wasn’t very good with money, but I thought maybe stock would be like a forced savings plan for me.

“Then you were born, and everything changed. My world became focused on you and you alone. I worked with you in the office, went home with you every night, and lived with you and for you every weekend. I found a nice place and we started a life.

“You know about the company going public and my stock suddenly being worth almost four million dollars. You don’t know the CEO of the company had taken me under his wing and told me I should sell it and invest in something more secure for you. He was the only man I met since your father I felt might have changed things for me emotionally.

“The thing was, he was married, happily and only interested in me as a friend. I took his advice and when the sale went through, I left the company on good terms with Trevor. I became a consultant so we could spend even more time together. Of course, once you went to school things changed and you being gone left a void I was unsure how to fill.

“I started man-hopping, and didn’t stop until a year after you moved to New York. My friend Deb told me one night I could very well have screwed up your emotional attachments for life with the way I used and treated male companions. I didn’t talk to her for a week, but knew she was right and resolved to try and fix the way I did things.

“You never knew, but I haven’t been out with a man in almost four years, until last night. And the only reason I went was because for the first time since Trevor I felt I met a man who could be more than just another disposable bandage for my heartache.

“I have no plans for throwing John away, I certainly didn’t plan on staying out all night with him last night. If things hadn’t gotten so weird and quite frankly exciting when four men tried to mug us we would have simply come home. The way he handled them and the situation took my breath away.

“I think John might be the ‘one’ and I can only promise you that if we end badly it won’t be because I tire of him. I already want to do everything I can to make whatever it is we are becoming work. It might be my last chance.”

Shannon stopped, dabbed at her eyes and took a deep breath. Elizabeth, shocked but still skeptical, asked the one question that had nagged at her.

“So what was in that letter? What was so devastating that you felt your life was over, Mama? And why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I didn’t tell you, Elizabeth, because it was too raw, too painful for me to discuss. It’s only been since I realized that I may have messed your relationships up by my behavior that I considered you probably should have learned the whole truth about your father. I was even considering telling you before my accident, but hadn’t figured out the best way.

“And as to what was in the letter, I’ll let you read it.”

“What? You destroyed it.”

“After I learned I was pregnant, I decided to keep it. It took me an entire evening to put it back together like a puzzle, then I taped it and carefully put it in an envelope. It’s sat in the safe where I kept the Ruger I gave you when you went to New York for years. I did take pictures of it when I got an iPhone and I have it here.”

Shannon pulled out her phone and worked on it for a moment.

“There, I just emailed it to you. Read it. And please understand I never, never meant to hurt you or screw up your life- I just may have been too weak to fix mine and too blind to see what I was doing.”

Shannon wiped her eyes again.

Elizabeth took her iPad and opened up her mother’s email and began to read.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I've hit a slight snag in this story and fear updates will be slower than previous works. Sorry, but life's calling.

_Dear Shannon,_

_My heart hurts to have to write this to you. I’ve taken a leave of absence from my job and will be giving up the position of Speaker at the conferences in Denver. Things have happened that have forced me to take a new look at everything in my life and I have come to the conclusion that I have to change things- completely._

_My biggest regret is that because of these changes, I will never get to discover what the two of us could have had. I have told you before, I was falling in love with you. What I have to tell you now will hurt you- please understand it breaks my heart more than you’ll ever know._

_I came home Saturday more determined than ever to leave my wife and be with you forever. When I got to work Monday, I was actually planning to see if I could accelerate the process by encouraging Courtney to follow through on something she’d mentioned a few months ago- graduating high school early._

_She would be eligible in less than two years since she was on track to accumulate the credits necessary and she had always talked about school in California. I figured if she would stay on that track we could be together even sooner than I had originally told you._

_Tuesday morning my world began to fall apart. I received a call from my wife telling me Courtney had become ill and the school was asking if we would take her home and seek medical treatment immediately. She had been extremely tired the last few days, was feverish and much of her body seemed in constant pain. We wanted her to stay home but she insisted on going Monday and returning Tuesday due to prep sessions for SAT._

_Tuesday in her morning session she almost collapsed and we were notified. By Tuesday evening the doctors told us we were facing a serious condition that appeared to be Leukemia- a cancer of the blood cells._

_Wednesday the diagnosis was confirmed and we were informed of the long and uncertain road we face if Courtney is to beat this. The protocols of intensive treatments are approximately three years with an additional three to five years monitoring before she can be declared completely recovered. I say recovered because they indicate you’re never considered cured, just a long-term survivor no matter how long you’re cancer free._

_Marsha and I talked long into that Wednesday night about our marriage, our life and our daughter. She brought up the fact that our marriage was a sham- only kept going by our love for Courtney. She said if it were up to her, we’d divorce as soon as she was out of the house. This illness changed everything, though._

_She felt, and I had to agree, that the best course of action would be to provide a united front in this fight, Courtney, Marsha and I with one goal- beating back this horrible disease. The only thing that could matter was Courtney’s survival. Our desires had to take second place._

_Initial tests show that we have caught this thing fairly early and have a fair chance of beating it. I know there are real obstacles ahead but I’m hopeful that we can prevail. My biggest concern of course is Courtney, but my second biggest worry is that I will never be able to see you face to face. I want you to know how much I do love you and how much this hurts._

_I won’t ask your forgiveness, but I will ask for your understanding. I hope one day you’ll have a child of your own so you can understand the way they hold your heart no matter how old or what situation they’re in. While I deeply regret what I’m doing to you, I don’t regret this decision for a second._

_I am deeply sorry for the hurt I’m causing, and know this- you are, I repeat are, the love of my life. I will always love you and always be grateful for the short time we shared._

_Yours forever,_

_J_


	6. Chapter 6

Elizabeth looked up from her iPad. While she was shaken by the letter, she was also left with more questions. She was beginning to understand she had misjudged her mother’s treatment of her father, however, she still didn’t understand her behavior with men. Why did she withdraw emotionally after Jay? Why did she act the way she did with the other men? There had to be something else.

“OK, Mama, I apologize for accusing you of treating my father like all the others. But…. but, why didn’t you ever recover? I can see carrying a torch, but you let this destroy any chance you had for happiness- you withdrew from everything except Gray and me until we went to school. Then you began the revolving door policy with men.

“Something’s missing, and while I guess I can live with your explanation regarding my dad, it doesn’t answer the rest. It seems Jay was honest with you, even though it didn’t end the way either of you hoped. What caused this change in your attitude towards men?”

Shannon stared at her daughter for a long time. Finally, reaching a decision, she nodded.

“Fair enough. I should tell you everything, though it’s going to bring up some things you will probably wish I had left buried, including what happened to Benjamin. I specifically didn’t mention the circumstances surrounding your brother’s father, our relationship and the fallout.

“I met Benjamin’s father when you were ten months old. We met totally by chance at a craft fair in Manitou Springs. Looking back on it, his behavior was probably calculated. For all I know, he specialized in hitting on young mothers. He just fawned over you- talking to you, complimenting you on your looks and raving about how well I must take care of you.

“Maybe there’s something about mom’s who are unattached that makes them vulnerable- I don’t know. Maybe I was just on the rebound. All I know is I was ripe for his attention and let him sweep me off my feet. We had fun for about three or four months, then I started to wonder about what I saw in him.

“I’m sure I compared him to Jay, and in my tender state probably wasn’t subtle about it. While I admit I didn’t handle myself very well in our relationship, Brian was, well he was manipulative and, I see it now, abusive. His abuse was initially almost unnoticeable, disguised as sadness, which was really pouting to get his own way.

“He used my trying to make him happy as a way to manipulate our relationship. When I discovered I was pregnant with Benjamin, he tried very subtly to get me to have an abortion. When I resisted, his abuse became more overt until, I began to resist, fearing for my safety…. and yours.

“He didn’t react well to my resisting him. His threats became more explicit and that’s when my friendship with Trevor became more than just an employee- employer relationship.  
When Brian ‘accidentally’ pushed me down my stairs in an attempt to cause me to miscarry, I knew I had to do something. But I didn’t know who to turn to.

“Trevor wasn’t just a computer genius- he was a very intelligent and observant individual. When I came to work after going down the stairs, he confronted me. He told me he was certain there was more to it than an accidental fall, and he’d seen the signs for the past couple of months. He told me he was certain my boyfriend was abusing me and if I didn’t admit it to myself and confront it, I was putting myself and you in danger.

“His confronting me was the last little push that convinced me this had to end. But Brian had slowly grabbed control of the relationship and I was terrified and uncertain how to break it off. I started melting down in front of my employer, and Trevor, to his credit, handled it perfectly.

“He took my into his private conference room and just let me be for a few minutes. I still remember sitting at the table, head in my hands as I cried in fear and confusion. He let me cry for several minutes, then put his hand on my shoulder.

“He told me that he had always felt I was a valuable employee, but watching me with you both in and out of the office had made him feel like I was becoming part of his family. He told me if I needed anything, he was there to help. I looked at him, terrified, and told him I didn’t know what to do but I needed to do something.”

Shannon stopped briefly at this point, headed over to the kitchenette, and took a bottle of water. She drank half of it in one shot, then, holding up one finger, headed to their bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Elizabeth was lost in her own thoughts. Her mother had never seemed this vulnerable. She’d always projected confidence- even after the accident, when it was obvious she wasn’t her old self, she still seemed mostly in control of herself and her surroundings.

As Shannon related the events Elizabeth had never heard before, her mother reminded her of a little girl relating a bad dream. She had seemed to withdraw into herself, actually hugging herself as she related the story of her and Gray’s father. It affected Elizabeth on a level deeper than she had ever felt when talking to her mom.

Elizabeth heard the toilet flush, then the door opened. Her mother had straightened herself up, and while her eyes were still reddened from crying, she had mostly composed herself. She smiled faintly at her daughter and headed over to the couch, set her water down on the coffee table and patted the empty place next to her. Elizabeth came over and sat down.

“I never knew, Mama, but there’s more to this, isn’t there?”

“Yes, and you’re going to hear all of it. I can’t excuse what I’ve done to you over the years, but I can explain the circumstances leading to my behavior. There is still so much, and you will hear it- maybe it will help me to talk about it.

“After telling me he felt I was like family to him, he said he thought he could help me fix the situation with Brian, but it would be neither easy nor pretty. I didn’t believe him at first and asked how he thought this could be fixed. He smiled faintly and proceeded to tell me the first step was going to be exposing Brian for what he was.

“Trevor had me wear a wire, then told me I needed to go face Brian and confront him about his abusive behavior. Trevor said one of two things would happen- either he’d realize it wasn’t going to work with you and back off, or it would push him toward overt abuse which would trigger a reaction from Trevor that would put an end to both his abuse and our relationship.

“Trevor emphasized how important it was for me to understand what was happening if we went through with confronting Brian- either he’d back off and we’d have a shaky relationship over the years or he’d be gone from my life altogether. He was my unborn child’s father and if he were to begin acting human, I’d have to let him be part of our lives.

“However, if he reacted the way both Trevor and I expected, there would be hell unleashed- and no turning back. He pounded into me the problems that would exist if I enabled Brian in any way- the way some women face abusive relationships. I was to consider the consequences of both possible outcomes, decide if I was willing to end the relationship and face the truth about the future. Otherwise, Trevor said he wouldn’t help me.

“I wasn’t going to let the little shit abuse me if I could do something about it. I considered what Trevor had said to me for about a minute. Then I told him I was ready to end the abuse and if necessary the relationship. Less than a week later, we acted.

“I went to Brian’s apartment to get my things. He lived on the first floor and had a patio door leading outside- the patio faced a field which allowed for privacy and for Trevor to get in if needed. Brian never locked the patio door because he had forgot his keys so many times it was easier to get in back there than contact the super every time he needed to get in.

“I had called him so he was expecting me. And it started before I even closed the front door of his place. He raged at me for not listening to him about the baby, for not coming back the last few days and for threatening to leave. When I looked at him and told him it wasn’t a threat, it was a fact, he went crazy.

“Within five minutes of walking in his apartment, Brian had me by the throat and pinned against the wall. He was actually lifting me off the ground and choking me when Trevor came through the patio door. Brian let go of me and turned to confront Trevor. He started threatening to kill Trevor and make it look like he was defending against a home invasion but Trevor stopped him in his tracks.

“Brian looked up to see a .357 Magnum pointed at his head. As his composure disappeared, Trevor told me to leave. He said he would take care of this and Brian would no longer be around to disrupt my life. I took my things and left. I never heard from Brian again.

“After I settled down from the trauma of that particular day, I worked up the courage to ask Trevor about what he did to Brian. He smiled and said, ‘well I didn’t kill him if that’s what you’re thinking.’ I laughed nervously because that was exactly what I was thinking. He saw through my laughter and shook his head.

“‘Shannon, these type of people don’t understand much unless it’s physical strength. I simply convinced him if he ever even got near you in the future physical pain would be the least of his problems.’ He didn’t say more, but I decided to let it go for the time being.

“Several months later, Benjamin was born. Two years after that, Trevor took his company public and I became comfortably rich. After taking his advice and turning my stock into some secure investments, I was getting ready to leave the company and set off on my own. Trevor took me to lunch the last week I was officially an employee.

“As we sat in the restaurant, I finally asked him what exactly had happened that day at Brian’s apartment. He told me he had joined the Marine’s out of high school and learned a few things about taking care of himself. He had also made some friends who could take care of themselves. The day he went with me to ‘convince’ Brian to leave me alone, he took two friends with him.

“After I had left, he threatened Brian and, when it didn’t appear he was getting through to him, he had his friends come in. Brian considered himself an artist- he wasn’t. He was a hack who barely survived by selling knock-offs of sculptures and trinkets that were overpriced at best. He seemed to think he was pretty good with his hands.

“Trevor had his two friends restrain Brian, then took out a rubber hammer. He proceeded to break every finger on Brian’s left hand, one at a time. Then he told Brian if he ever got near me again, he was coming back and this time he would remove Brian’s hand and neither the hand nor Brian’s body would ever be found.

“The threat appeared to work- I’ve never seen Brian again. And Trevor continued to be a part of our lives for several years. He taught me to shoot, showed me some self-defense techniques like how you can partially close your hand and incapacitate an attacker by striking them in the throat.

“We drifted apart, and now we see each other infrequently. He knows how I felt about him, but things happened and we never connected in spite of the fact that his wife died a few years ago. By then I had fallen into the man-hopping trap and I’m sure he thought I was trouble- because I was.”

Elizabeth’s mom paused at this point, smiling a little sadly. She shook her head as if trying to shake off the memories, then looked her daughter in the eye.

“I wish that was the end of it, Elizabeth, but there’s more, and I’m going to tell you all of it because you need to know the depths I sank to to understand how hard it’s been to climb out and why I never told you any of this before.

“I’m still ashamed of the way I behaved, and the only reason I’m telling you is that I realize how much I’ve hurt you and your relationships.”

Elizabeth reached over and gently touched her mother’s arm.

“You’re my mother, and now I realize I should have cut you some slack instead of judging you and blaming you for everything that was wrong with my life. You don’t have to tell me anymore if it’s too uncomfortable for you Mama, I don’t need to know anymore to see I’ve been a little harsh toward you.”

“No, Elizabeth, you need to know this, and I need to tell you.”


	7. Chapter 7

The afternoon was starting to get away from them, and Shannon suggested they order something from the hospital dining room. One of the perks of being part of the team (not to mention the pull Elizabeth had due to her relationship with Megan) was room service at odd hours. As they waited for lunch to arrive, Shannon continued.

“One of the things I’ll never get over is the guilt over my responsibility for your brother’s death.”

Elizabeth blanched.

“Mama, Gray died of pneumonia, and if anyone was responsible it was me. I was the one at home at the time. What are you talking about?”

“Karma, Elizabeth. To understand, you need to know how badly I reacted to some things that I’ve already told you about. I’m not proud, I’ve carried the guilt around for many years and maybe telling someone will help it ease some. One of the reasons I’ve behaved with men the way I have for so long is my guilt.

“I told you about Jay, about his letters and the reasons he never came back. What I didn’t tell you was how many nights I spent laying in bed, unable to sleep wondering if he’d come back if his daughter just died. Then wishing she would. Then feeling guilty for wishing that.

“After you were born and I looked at you so beautiful, so perfect and so utterly reliant on me, I realized what Jay meant when he told me he wished I could someday have a child and realize the hold they had on your heart no matter the age or situation. The guilt I felt over wishing Jay’s daughter anything bad overwhelmed me.

“I can remember getting down on my knees in front of your crib and praying to a God I still didn’t know if I believed in for forgiveness for ever wishing anything bad to happen to Courtney. I’ve never to this day had the courage to investigate what ever happened with her, with Jay and with their marriage. But I’ve always thought that karma, if it’s real owed me something for the horrible things I thought about Jay’s child.”

“Mama, you did nothing wrong, you can’t be blamed for what you thought under the conditions you were left in. God wouldn’t blame you for reacting like most people would- that’s just cra… well that’s just not what would happen.”

“Crazy is what you were going to say, and I’m not afraid to admit crazy is what I think I went when Benjamin died. There’s more, and you’re going to hear it. They say confession is good for the soul and it better be true, because this has festered in me for a long time, even when I buried it so deep I didn’t think about it for years.

“When Trevor finally helped me rid myself of Brian and his abusive behavior I felt a sense of relief that was tempered by fear and doubt at my pregnancy. First I feared there would be something wrong with the baby because of my being pushed down the stairs. Then I thought there’d be something wrong because he was Brian’s baby.

“I began to wish I’d miscarry or something would happen so this ‘problem’ would go away. I couldn’t have an abortion, possibly some latent Catholicism buried in my subconscious or maybe I just couldn’t because I felt such love every time I looked at you and couldn’t bear the thought of ending a life I had helped create.

“Of course, when Benjamin was born all thoughts of anything bad about him flew out of my mind forever. He was as beautiful, precious and helpless as you had been. I never thought I could love another like I loved you, but I found my ability to love was multiplied by Benjamins arrival rather than discovering my heart divided between the two of you.

“The two of you were my life for the next five years, then you were gone at school and two years later, Benjamin. I was at loose ends, working 20 hours a week when I didn’t have to work at all and being paid six figures as a consultant. Too much time and too little preparation for it- I didn’t react well at all.

“I started going through male companions like there was an endless supply- and to a certain extent there was. I had no trouble meeting men- there were few women doing the type of work I did at the time and being a consultant, there was always a new assignment and fresh meat at each one. I behaved horribly to them, using them for fun, excitement and to alleviate the boredom and loneliness.

“With my motives, it was no surprise they were gone as fast as I got to know them. As soon as boredom started to set in, it was off to the next possible candidate. I was using them for all the wrong reasons and, in my own way, _I_ was abusive through my neglect of them on anything but a physical basis and the way I discarded them without a thought.

“This went on for years, then of course came that fateful week when we lost your brother. Our house was always isolated, and we were pretty self-reliant when we had to be. If you remember, Thursday morning Benny wasn’t feeling well and I let him stay home from school. Friday, I took him to the doctor and he said it was the flu and to keep him home, in bed and give him plenty of fluids. He also prescribed antibiotics.

“Friday night the blizzard hit and closed down the roads for four days. On Sunday, Benny took a turn for the worse and we needed to get him to the doctor. There was no way out, the roads were closed everywhere around us. Monday, desperate, I took our snowmobile trying to get to town to bring back a doctor.

“Five miles from home, and at least ten miles from town, the snowmobile died. I had no choice but to try to get back home. It took me over three hours to make it back through the two to three feet of snow and of course when I arrived you were there, hysterical, with your brother’s body.

“His flu had turned to viral pneumonia and ravaged his young body, killing him in hours. There was no one to blame, but that didn’t stop each of us from blaming themselves. In my grief and guilt I never helped you to understand that you had no blame, there was nothing you could have done to change the outcome.

“Now, of course, I realize there was nothing I could have done either, but then I took it all on me. I wallowed in the guilt, blaming myself for causing Benny’s death by wishing Courtney ill, wishing briefly for a miscarriage- oh I couldn’t get enough of the guilt.

“I bought the Ruger a few weeks later, intent on using it to kill myself. I started planning my suicide- trying to make it look like an accident so you wouldn't be even more traumatized than you were going to be. Talk about Karma- I had this idea that if I was at this certain place on the back road that leads south out of Victor I could place my foot on brake with the truck in drive and pull the trigger.

"When the shot fired, my foot would slip off brake, the truck would go over the side- there's no guardrail where I planned it- and I would fall 1500 feet. The truck would probably explode but even if it wouldn't there was a chance it would go unnoticed for so long they wouldn't do an autopsy, just consider it an accident.

“Of course, I didn’t go through with it. The morning I planned it, you were sick. I kept you home and planned to go through with it the next day. I was taking care of you, bringing you soup, helping you to the bathroom and holding your head while you threw up- normal stuff, but it had a soothing effect on my despair.

“You were so fragile again- you had a stomach bug of some kind, and it ravaged you for a couple of days. You lost five or six pounds in two days, and considering you weighed about 85 before you got sick, that was a lot. You were pale, weak and beautiful. It started me thinking about what I still had.

“The second day, you were starting to come out of it but you were still weak and unable to do much without help. You were sipping the soup I had to spoon feed you to get something in you to regain your strength. I’ll never forget it.

“You looked up at me with so much love, so much fear and so much vulnerability. You said, ‘Mama, I love you so much… I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you too.’ Time stood still. I fought desperately for control. I leaned over and kissed the top of your head and whispered I’d be right back.

“I left your room, went to my bedroom and lost it. I cried hysterically for fifteen minutes or more, realizing the implications of what I was planning on doing. Of course I wasn’t going through with it anymore and I took that gun and put it in the safe.

“I put it next to the letter I taped together long ago. I kept it there as a reminder of what despair could do next to the letter that reminded me of what I almost had. Kind of a ying and yang sort of thing- I don’t know.

“Years later, when you were leaving for New York, I felt it was time to let go of the gun and its memories, so I gave it to you for self-protection. In my mind I thought you had protected me from it, so maybe it would protect you from any danger.

“Sadly, I couldn’t leave all of my destructive behavior behind and the parade of men continued until after you had escaped to New York. Looking back, I see how I screwed up your life, how I screwed up my life and how I was responsible for what happened- not God, not Karma just me.

“And some of the guilt remains to this day. You know, you never get over the loss of a loved one- especially a child. It leaves a hole that aches with emptiness whenever you think of them, and you think of them often. It recedes after a time, but it never goes away.

“And it will flash into your consciousness uninvited at the strangest times. Mostly it’s always there- an ache you can’t make disappear. You simply hold on when it’s the worst and wait for it to ease up, which it will even though it’s always lurking off in the distance.”

Shannon’s eyes began to well again with tears, but her face held a softness that gripped Elizabeth’s heart. They reached for each other’s hand unconsciously, sharing a bond in that moment that could only come from parent and child. Elizabeth grabbed her mother’s hand and pulled her close, wrapping her other arm around her in a heartfelt embrace.

“Mama, I’m sorry I judged you without knowing everything. I love you and now that I understand you a little better, I forgive you. And if anyone deserves a measure of happiness in their life, it’s you. I hope you and John are happy, and no matter what happens I’ll always love you both.”

Shannon sniffled into her daughter’s shoulder, feeling a sense of freedom she hadn’t felt in so long she wasn’t sure what it was at first- just that it felt good. When the embrace ended, she looked at Elizabeth with love and tenderness shining from her eyes.

Then she looked down at the mostly untouched remnants of their room service lunch and laughed.

“We should probably get something to eat- we hardly touched this and it’s after six.”

Elizabeth smiled and stood.

“Why don’t the two of us go out and get dinner. I’ll let Megan know and you can text John. We’ll be back in time to see them before we go to bed. It can be like old times.”

Shannon smiled tenderly.

“I’d like that.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure fluff- fair warning!

The next afternoon, Megan and Elizabeth were discussing Elizabeth’s conversation with her mother. Megan listened intently as Elizabeth described the tension, the revelations and the outcome of the long afternoon the two spent together. Her eyes filled with tears as Elizabeth shared the tragedies and obstacles that had influenced Shannon and caused her to make some unfortunate decisions.

When Elizabeth finished, Megan drew her into a warm embrace and held her for several minutes. Elizabeth felt so safe, so loved, so accepted that she sighed with contentment.

“I could get used to this- I never thought I’d find someone special in my life. The timing was always off at least for me. Maybe fate was saving me from any entanglements until I could discover you and whatever this is.”

“I feel the same way Beth- I never had anyone I felt close to- I was always too busy with my career, then I spent so much time getting this hospital off and running; it was my life. You came along at the perfect time, maybe we were always just destined to be together.”

Elizabeth looked into Megan’s eyes and something that she had kept in the back of her mind came front and center.

“We never really talked about our relationship, but maybe this is a good time. I don’t know how you feel about fidelity, but I am not interested in anyone but you. I have a past- as you know, but I want us to be exclusive. I hope you feel the same way.”

Megan smiled and blushed.

“I do, Beth, and I have since the night at Root and Shaw’s house. I was afraid to bring up the subject because while I’m no virgin, I have nowhere near the experience you have from what you’ve implied and of course what you and Shaw talked about when she recovered from the surgery. I hoped you felt like I do, but didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“Megan, I don’t think I need to get a marriage license or have a ceremony to declare our feelings or secure our relationship. But I would like to do something- how would you feel about us getting matching rings?”

The doctor’s eyes sparkled with delight.

“I love the idea. When do you want to go?”

“We have to tell the girls and your mother- you know they will want to come along. Maybe tomorrow? I’d rather go on a weekday- on weekends all those places are packed. I’d like to get some actual service without feeling like they just want to get on to the next customer.”

“Let’s do it- after lunch. You do rounds in the morning, we work on our little project in the morning and usually are free by noon. We can eat and go or head there and eat at the food court before checking out the rings.”

Elizabeth got a sly look- eyes flashing.

“Let’s all have dinner tonight in the conference room, we can tell them. You never know- maybe they will think this is something we should do alone.”

Megan rolled her eyes.

“Have you met Root and Shaw? They’re going to want to go. Root loves this stuff and Shaw will do anything for her.”

“They sure have changed since I first met them in New York. I would have never believed Shaw would ever do a relationship- and Root? Don’t get me started. But they seem to have something really special, I’m almost as happy for them as I am for us.”

Megan stood.

“We should call everybody so they’re all there. By all I mean John and your mother.”

Elizabeth smiled.

“I’ll call her.”

….

Dinner was excellent, Dr. Tillman used her favorite chef to prepare a meal featuring roasted duck, rice and green beans. As they sat around the table after dinner, Root spoke up in her usual non-filtered fashion.

“So Elizabeth, you were so insistent we all clear our calendar for dinner tonight. What’s up? The meal was spectacular but you didn’t get us all here to show off Chef David’s culinary skills. Spill it- what’s the occasion?”

For someone who never had trouble speaking her mind, Elizabeth was suddenly at a loss for words. Megan noticed her discomfort, smiled and reached for her hand. She leaned over and said.

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”

Elizabeth laughed out loud. Megan turned to their friends and spoke for _her_ friend.

“Beth and I have talked about our relationship and wanted you to know we believe we have something special, something that we want to be permanent. While neither of us is all that into marriage or ceremonies, we want to do something to declare it publicly. We are going to go and get matching rings. We wanted you to know in advance, so you didn’t just see them someday.”

Root stood, grinning from ear to ear.

“YES!” She turned and hugged Shaw, then came around the table to hug the two ladies.

“Can we come? When you go to pick out the rings?”

Shannon was grinning as well.

“Me too? John can drive us.”

Reese groaned, but smiled good-naturedly.

“When?”

Elizabeth finally spoke up.

“Tomorrow afternoon. We figured after rounds and our session with the Machine we could go- it will be less crowded on a week day.”

Shaw rolled her eyes, but her smile gave her true feelings away.

“I guess we have nothing else to do.”

Harold looked over at his friends, smiling.

“I’ll stay here, but I wish Grace was here to go with. She loves this kind of thing.”

Megan looked over the gathering.

“We can leave around 12:30 and eat at the mall, they have lots of choices in and around the food court. Do you guys think Gen will want to go?”

Root looked over at Sameen. Shaw shrugged. Root smiled.

“I guess we’ll ask her.”

….

“So Gen, Elizabeth and Dr. Tillman are becoming very close… they want to get matching rings to declare their feelings for each other. We’re all going to the jeweler’s tomorrow. Would you like to come?”

Gen was quiet for a long time. She kept looking at Root, then Shaw, then back to Root.

“What’s the matter Gen? Root asked you a question, it isn’t that difficult. Do you want to come with us or not?”

The three were sitting at the breakfast bar, Gen snacking on some guacamole and chips while Shaw and Root shared a beer. Gen looked at both again and sighed.

“Sure, I’ll go, but I have to ask you guys a question.”

She put the chips and guac away and went over to the sink and washed her hands. Then picking up her water, she took a drink. As she turned to head upstairs, she looked back over her shoulder.

“Why haven’t you two ever gotten rings.”

And she was gone.

Neither said a word for several minutes. Finally, Root looked over at her love and smiled tenderly.

“Well, Sam, there’s a question on the table. I’ve told you many times, I don’t need a license or a ceremony to prove anything to myself about our relationship. But it sounds like Gen might. I’m not opposed to rings- hell I’ll shout my feelings about you from the highest mountain. What do you think?”

“I think we should have thought of this a long time ago. I’d like to get something really expensive but not really gaudy. Something to remind us, and only us, of how precious our relationship is. We should call Megan and Elizabeth and see if they would mind if we shopped simultaneously or if they’d prefer we came back at another time.”

“It’s not too late, let’s call them.”

Shaw’s phone was out, she called Elizabeth on speaker.

“Hi Shaw, what’s up?”

“You’re on speaker, Elizabeth, is Megan there?”

“Yes, what’s going on?”

“Put us on speaker too, please…. Ok, Gen, Root and I were talking about tomorrow and Gen said she’d come along. But then she asked a question I think she’s thought about before.

“She said, ‘Why don’t _we_ have rings?’ Well, Root and I thought it would be a good idea, and we’d like to do it tomorrow, but we’d understand if you two want to keep this your day. What do you two think?”

There was silence for several seconds, followed by laughter. Megan answered for them.

“We’d love it if you got rings with us- it would make the day even more special.”

Root’s smile could be felt in her words. “Thanks, we love you too.”

“We’ll see you two tomorrow.”

….

Reese drove the Escalade around to the entrance of the hospital where six ladies of varying age and stages of excitement waited. Gen, the youngest, seemed the most jazzed. Maybe she needed the public declaration more than any of the others considering her age and her history. She seemed ready to come out of her skin.

“This is going to be so great! I love jewelry, hey Root, Shaw, can I get a ring too? The only jewelry I ever had was that medal I got from my grandfather- you know Shaw, the one I gave to you. I’d really like a ring- what do you guys think?”

Sam and Root looked at each other. Both were smiling. Root looked at Shaw, deferring.

“Sure, Gen, you can get a ring- maybe it should be a Promise Ring.”

“What’s that?”

“Some people call it a Purity Ring. It basically says you’re going to wait to have sex. It’s mostly a Christian thing, but it probably wouldn’t hurt if everybody at least thought about it. There are so many kids thinking for different reasons they can act like grown ups- then face grown up consequences from their actions. It’s worn as a reminder that if you wait until you can deal with the consequences it tends to make life easier.

“Well that’s not exactly it, but that’s my interpretation. I think the consequences of sex can cause kids too immature to deal with them to have problems- pregnancy only being one.

“Sermon’s done, Gen you can get a ring- and you can pick it out. We are setting a limit on cost. What do you think about $1000 Root?”

“That’s a nice number, Sam- what’s our limit?”

“I’ll let you know if we reach it.” _Eye roll_.

The group, smiling, got in the Escalade and headed toward the mall. Reese, who had patiently waited during the conversation with Gen thought- _this could be a long day. It’s a good thing I’ll be with Shannon._

….

Three and a half hours later, Reese looked up and saw the group exit the jeweler. He spent the majority of the two plus hours the ladies were inside sitting on the bench across from the store. It gave him coverage of the area and a chance to watch people- something he was very good at.

While he enjoyed people-watching, the day was slightly disappointing in that Shannon had spent the entire time inside the store, watching and giving both her opinion and her approval to the others’ choices. When they finally left and walked up to John, he was ready to call it a day.

“How’d it go in there ladies?”

All six began to speak at once, then stopped, laughing. Since John had come mostly to accompany Shannon, the group deferred to her.

“Well John, you know we women love jewelry. I didn’t think I could have so much fun shopping for stuff that wasn’t for me. I was wrong. It was delightful- Megan and Elizabeth ordered white gold bands with a diamond in the center- tasteful and elegant. Gen got a Promise Ring out of the case that fits her perfectly. As she gets older, they may have to size it for her but it fit and she got it. Show him sweetheart.”

Gen held out her left hand to display a nice gold band. John smiled his approval.

“That’s beautiful, Gen. Well, what about these two?” And he nodded at Root and Shaw.

Shannon shook her head but smiled.

“They took the longest- forty-five minutes of looking and trying on different bands, then when they had almost decided, Root saw a sign for ‘Black Fancy Diamonds’. Turns out they’re some of the rarest, most precious and of course most expensive diamonds on the planet. So we went back to square one with them.

“They finally decided on these gorgeous bands- plain gold with black trim on the edges, a huge Black Fancy Diamond in the center. We saw a computer image of what rings would look like and they’re spectacular! They’re special orders but the jeweler said he’d get them here in less than two weeks so all four rings should be ready at the same time.

“Of course we still weren’t done, because Root decided the two of them had to have some sort of special, private message inscribed on the insides of their rings. That took a few more minutes and viola he we are. Ready to head back.”

Reese looked at Root and Shaw quizzically.

“What’s the inscription?”

Shannon answered for them.

“Oh, no- they won’t say. They’re saying it’s private, just between the two of them.” She rolled her eyes, but her smile took any sting out of the gesture and her comment.

_“So Sam, I think we should get something written inside the rings, something special and unique to us. What do you think?”_

_“I’m not sure, Root. You know I love you but I’m not that good at romantic stuff. I might need a little help here to know what you mean.”_

_“Maybe if I tell you what I want to put inside mine it’ll help. Very simply- ‘4AF’ - do you remember?”_

_Shaw smiled, hesitated then cleared the lump in her throat._

_“You saved my life with that simple message. ‘Four alarm fire’ when I was ready to kill myself rather than go through another Samaritan simulation…. and you just gave me the idea for what I want- no words, just an arrow.”_

_Now Root’s eyes misted._

_“My message to you when I thought I was going to die, and you heard after you thought I had. That’s sweet, Sam, you still are an arrow you know- the arrow that pierced my heart.”_

_Shaw shook her head but smiled in spite of herself._

_“Sap-fest over, let’s tell the jeweler what we want written in our rings.”_

_Root stopped her before they headed over._

_“Sam, our relationship has played out pretty much in front of our friends since we met. I think I’d like to keep the inscription private- just between us. Is that Ok?”_

_“Sure- if that’s what you want.”_

_“I do. And Sameen Shaw, have I told you today that I love you?"_

_"You tell me every day- every time you look at me. I love you too."_


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry these are coming at a slow pace- life interrupts both writing and posting at times. I hope to pick up pace in a few days.

The next few days saw a flurry of activity for everyone. Grace returned from Europe- Harold and her found a nice condo five minutes from the hospital that had been on the market for eighteen months. Its original asking price of $500,000 had dropped significantly during that time, but when Harold threw out an offer of $200,000 cash they didn’t expect it to be accepted.

To their surprise it was, and immediately. Their original plan was to return to New York and make that their permanent base of operations but the rest of the team (except for Lionel) appeared to want to stay in or around Albuquerque. With the condo purchase, Harold and Grace had a place to stay whenever they were to return to see their friends and it seemed that they would be frequent visitors to the area.

While the condo was being decorated and furnished, the two hopped a private jet back to New York to find a home where they would eventually live. That proved more problematic as property around Central Park, where the two had spent so much time when they were beginning the first part of their relationship, was expensive and hard to come by.

The pair took the top floor of an older hotel in the area while they searched for the perfect place. The process took the better part of six weeks and they kept in touch daily as the brainstorming sessions continued in an attempt to reinstate some sort of restrictions on the Machine.

The Surrey had gorgeous patios overlooking Central Park. It was relaxing and idyllic, and Grace loved it. She moved her easel outside each morning weather allowed and spent several hours painting. Finch moved in and out of the room, working on the Machine’s vexing habit of shutting down every time they tried to adjust core functionality. He loved working on the patio but consistently found himself distracted by Grace’s presence.

_I don’t deserve her, but I love her. And I am never leaving her again_.

Due to time differences, the daily sessions with Root, Shaw, Elizabeth and Gen didn’t end until three in the afternoon. Harold adjusted his schedule so every day when the session finished he and Grace could go searching for property. The searches became the highlight of their day as each was falling in love again with the city that was home to the initial stages of their relationship.

Each evening around seven, the two would frequent a different restaurant they had enjoyed in the past. Whether it was Grace’s favorite burger joint from before meeting Harold or Finch’s favorite coffee shop where he and John met during the initial stages of their working relationship, the two shared memories with the other of why each place was special.

The places where they had been together were the most fun- they could each share what was most memorable and enjoyable. The two felt like they were also falling in love with each other all over again. One evening, at a five star Harold had entertained a number posing as a rich eccentric benefactor (not much of a stretch), his voice faltered as he told Grace what went on. Grace, sensing something different, reached for his hand.

“What’s wrong Harold? Did something happen here?”

Finch was silent for several minutes. His eyes shimmered with unshed tears and he fought for control and to regain his voice.

“When Nathan was killed, I disappeared from your life to _protect_ you. Was I selfish or acting in your best interest? I struggle with that almost daily my darling. I had forgotten… this was one of the places where I had a struggle with the implications of what I had done to you. Before you went to Europe, I was careful to never go to an area where we could meet accidentally.

“The night I met with a number at this place, I remember I was in the limousine heading over to the dinner meeting. We happened to take a route not far from your apartment. There was some construction going on and we detoured even closer. I was working in the back of the limo and wasn’t paying attention to our surroundings.

“I looked up as we were stopped at a traffic light and saw you out of the corner of my eye. You had just left a market and were carrying a small sack, probably for that evening’s dinner. As we sat waiting for the light to change, you looked into the back of the limo. Now I know you couldn’t see inside, the privacy glass was very dark.

“But Grace, I swear you looked right into my eyes and right into my soul. I was shaken, the objective part of my mind telling me my imagination was running wild while deep inside my subconscious I believed you had not only seen me, but seen into my deception, seen into my soul and found me lacking.

“That meeting was a complete waste of time. I ended up rescheduling it a few days later and we eventually took care of the number, he turned out to be a perpetrator. I had buried that memory until this very moment. I don’t deserve you Grace, I’ve treated you horribly on more than one occasion and I realize it more each day.”

Grace smiled, sadness and love mixed in her expression.

“Harold, I went through my life before you believing I would never find a soulmate. Then we met and I finally found happiness and love. Then you were gone and I was lost until I remembered something my mother used to tell me when we talked about daddy dying.

“ _It’s better to have loved and lost…_ you’ve heard it Harold, It’s trite, but there’s truth in many trite sayings. I would cling to what we had when I felt despair threatening to overwhelm me. I know what you went through when Nathan was killed. I know why you did what you did. I know you blame yourself for putting me through ‘losing’ you.

“I also know you were fighting a war- with H.R. with the government, with the Brotherhood and with Samaritan. I know that what you did was a normal occurrence after Pearl Harbor during WWII. Husbands left their wives to go off to war. Many never returned.

“Could you have done things differently? Of course.

“But you did what you did mostly for my safety. You never stopped loving me, I could see it in your eyes the day you showed up in Europe. Harold, I regret the years we lost while you fought that war, I regret that I mourned your ‘death’ for years, and I regret that I cried myself to sleep many nights when the loneliness overwhelmed me.

“But we’re together now- we’re _here_ now. I thank God for every day I wake up with you and look forward to the rest of our lives. Let’s just decide right now to look forward and not beat ourselves up with recriminations from the past.

“Maybe we should stop coming to places from our past and investigate new ones for our future. I want to enjoy every moment with you Harold and I can’t do that when you beat yourself up for doing what you believed was right. From now on let’s try new places instead of revisiting the past.”

Harold smiled and held Grace’s hand tightly.

“I love you Grace.”

,,,,

“Dr. Tillman, I can’t believe you’re going to keep my restrictions on for an extra two weeks- that’s as long as Root’s.”

“Ms. Shaw, your progress, while steady, hasn’t been quite as significant as we thought it would be. You realize you could have died if we had waited just a few more hours to fix the swelling in your brain? An additional two weeks is nothing compared to the possible consequences of your not healing completely.”

Shaw shook her head, annoyed yet resigned to listening to Dr. Tillman’s advice. _How do I get Root to listen if I won’t. This sucks, but it’s only a couple of weeks_.

“Fine, but we aren’t going to tell Root yet, OK? Give me time to process it and get used to it. I don’t want her thinking she can pull the same crap I am with you.” Shaw smiled sheepishly and Dr. Tillman had the good grace to laugh.

“Deal. Now let’s get you out of here so you can get home. You have interviews for both a housekeeper and a cook scheduled for this afternoon.”

“This one better be a keeper, I’m getting sick of interviewing and if I let Root do it she’ll hire the first one she talks to to get it over with.”

….

Megan went back to her office to write up her report on the meeting with Shaw. She was certain the news about her extended restrictions would be received better if delivered by her alone. Shaw had the habit of rubbing most people the wrong way, but really listened when she respected the presenter even if the subject matter was something she didn’t want to hear.

Finishing the report, she looked at her phone. _It’s 12:45, I thought they’d all be back by noon. I hope everything’s all right._

….

Fifteen miles away, the objects of Dr. Tillman’s conjecture were anything but “all right”. As bullets flew from the building across the street, John and Elizabeth took cover behind a garbage truck, the crew from which had scattered when the gun battle began.

John was driving Elizabeth and Shannon back from shopping (yes- mundane, but it gave him time to hang with Shannon) when he received a text from a blocked number. It was an address less than ten minutes drive and, after showing it to Elizabeth, he decided to investigate. As he parked the Escalade, he advised the ladies to stay in the vehicle while he took a look around.

“Don’t get out until I give the all clear. I don’t know what is going on.” He walked the block he had left between the Escalade and the address and approached it cautiously. John was used to going in blind at times when the Machine directed, but didn’t like the fact that he was going in blind _while Shannon and Elizabeth were in such close proximity._

The building he was approaching appeared to be a deserted three story which once housed a small electronics store. Several apartments had once been occupied now sat vacant. The building was a classic example of an abandoned tenement that had become temporary quarters for drug dealers, human traffickers and gunrunners- all on turf fought over by gangs and the organizations that battled constantly for control over the lucrative shadow economy that ran the ghettos.

As John approached, still uncertain as to what the threat was and who was in danger, he could hear voices arguing in both English and Spanish. He could barely understand what was being discussed, but it seemed they were arguing over a delivery made within the hour. As the discussion heated up, John drew his weapon and moved into a position where he could cover all six of the group that were arguing.

Three Hispanic men in their early 20’s were arguing with three Caucasians who appeared somewhere between 30 and 40. The leaders were nose to nose while their back-ups stood less than ten feet apart hands on weapons that had yet to be drawn. As the argument escalated, two street bikes appeared a block away and coasted toward the building.

John had taken cover in a doorway a few feet from and across the street from the abandoned building and watched silently, assessing the situation. As the two bikes coasted to a halt up the block, John heard approaching footsteps. Turning, gun drawn he shook his head in dismay when he saw Elizabeth approaching, gun also in hand.

“I told you to stay put.”

“When I saw the bikes coming, I figured you were going to need backup. Relax, Shannon’s safe in the car and no one saw me come over here. What’s going on?”

“Not sure, argument about a delivery. It looks like it’s about to get interesting.”

Not surprisingly, the first shot came from one of the bikers. In the ensuing chaos, John and Elizabeth held back until the short gun battle was winding down and it was obvious the bikers would win, the element of surprise giving them the advantage they needed.

Four of the original six were down and not moving while the two still returning fire were both wounded. Complicating their situation was the fact that they were on opposite sides when the gunfire began. The leader of the Caucasians and one of the Hispanic soldiers weren’t used to fighting together, so efficiency and teamwork were sadly lacking. When the Hispanic took a slug in the chest, John and Elizabeth emerged from their cover behind the garbage truck and took the remaining three combatants in less than fifteen seconds.

As they were checking the eight combatants to make sure the threat was over, Shannon sat nervously in the Escalade. She had seen the first two bikes approaching and heard the gun battle which ensued. The eerie quiet that suddenly fell over the area unnerved her and she quickly exited the SUV and started down the street.

She observed Elizabeth and John from a distance, and as relief washed over her, she turned to return to the Escalade. As she approached the vehicle she noticed two more street bikes approaching from the same direction the first two had come from. As she watched in horror, the two bikes killed their engines and silently coasted toward her daughter and her new love.

They were less than fifty feet away when one stopped and the other continued coasting. Hopping off his ride, the one coasting drew a weapon and started approaching John and Elizabeth, Shannon did the only thing she could think of- she yelled at the top of her lungs.

“ _John, Elizabeth- watch out!_ ”

Reese, with lightning reflexes, turned and seeing the helmeted biker raising his weapon, fired once catching the attacker in the chest. He then headed for the remaining biker who fired up his bike, turned and raced past Shannon, who stood frozen, only partially covered by the Escalade. Right before the biker drew a weapon she ducked but not before looking right into his eyes.

His features were Asian, his face obscured partially by the helmet he wore. But his eyes flashed hatred and she knew as long as she lived she’d remember the appearance of those eyes and the look of hatred they contained.

Amazingly, there were still no approaching sirens, the area apparently used to periodic bursts of gunfire. John told Elizabeth to return to the Escalade and keep an eye on Shannon.

“I’ll check out the building, call authorities if needed and we can wait at the SUV until they arrive. Just keep Shannon safe.”

“I will, John. You know you’re cute when you’re protective.”

Reese shook his head and headed for the building. Less than ten minutes later, Shannon and Elizabeth heard sirens in the distance. As Shannon pulled out her phone, they saw John approaching. He hopped in the vehicle, started the engine, and waited. Sighing, he turned to his passengers.

“Four young girls, probably 12-14 years old. Chained to rings attached to the walls of one of the apartments upstairs. Trafficking for the sex slave trade is my guess. We’ll stay here until authorities show then head back.

“Shannon, what were you thinking? I appreciate the heads up but you could have gotten yourself hurt- or worse. That last guy could have killed you if you weren’t behind the Escalade.”

Shannon pulled up her top, revealing a holstered semiautomatic.

“I’ve been carrying this since the night at the casino, John, and I know how to use it. I had it in hand when I ducked behind the Caddy and would have returned fire if necessary.”

Reese snickered and shook his head. Looking at Elizabeth in the back seat he rolled his eyes.

“Now I know where you get it from.”

Elizabeth sat silently, a faint smile playing across her face.

As the sirens grew louder and the first cruiser pulled up to the abandoned building John put the SUV in gear and headed away.

“I wonder why the Machine was so quiet after only giving us the address here. Strange it usually can’t stop giving us information, useful or otherwise. I don’t need to know the percentages of us getting away with no casualties, but I could use info like ‘two bikes approaching’. Oh well, I guess as long as no one got hurt- at least no one we care about.”

….

Several blocks away, the lone survivor of the gun battle ditched his bike and stole a vehicle- a nondescript ten year old Toyota. He sped back toward the scene in time to see the Escalade head off away from the destruction they had caused. As he followed the SUV, he pulled a phone and made a call.

“It’s Wong- we got attacked- someone took the others out before we could get control of the area. They weren’t members of the other gangs though, when they finished the attack they called the cops. I’m following them to see where they go from here. Once we find out who they are, we can get rid of them.”

The Machine remained silent.


	10. Chapter 10

The five ladies piled out of Root and Shaw’s new Escalade. Root and Shaw hopped out of the back seat and waited for Megan and Elizabeth to untangle themselves from the third-row seat. Both peeked into the back window to make sure they were properly rearranged and the four headed toward the mall’s entrance.

Shannon stayed briefly in the front seat, long enough to kiss John, who was playing chauffeur for the ladies’ trip to the jeweler.

“We won’t be too long, not like last time. We’re just picking the rings up today. Last time we were…”

“Don’t remind me about last time,” John’s smile belied his gruff words. “I thought I was going to have to pay rent on the seat outside the jeweler. I had to have sat there for two hours.”

“Well, this should be the last time for awhile.”

“Well…. Shannon, what would you think about just the two of us coming back here…. soon?”

Shannon’s face was unreadable, but she held her breath.

“Why John?”

“I’m not very good at expressing my feelings, Shannon, but I’d like to put a ring on your finger if you’ll have me. I probably should set up some great romantic moment, but I’m afraid I’ll chicken out if I think about it.

"I can’t imagine a life without you now that I know what life feels like with you in it.”

Shannon reached behind her and closed the passenger door. She gazed into John’s eyes for a long enough time that Reese started to get nervous. She finally smiled, those eyes sparkling and leaned over for a proper kiss.

“That may be the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me. I’d love to come back here with you and get a ring. I may even make you get down on one knee and propose like they do in the movies. In front of our friends- if you can make it through that, I figure we have a chance.”

Reese raised an eyebrow and smiled faintly, then gestured at the ladies waiting at the mall entrance.

“You’d better catch up with the others, they’re waiting.”

She leaned in for one more kiss, then got out of the car and floated over to the other ladies.

Megan and Elizabeth were so caught up in themselves they didn’t notice Shannon’s beaming. Shaw did and smirked but the smirk turned into a smile at the thought that John and her seemed to have something real, something permanent. Root took one look at Elizabeth’s mom and smiled from ear to ear.

“What just happened in there, Shannon?” Root’s eyes said she had a pretty good idea.

“Well, John just asked me to marry him in his clumsy, sweet way.” Root grabbed her in a hug and actually lifted her off the ground.

“I knew it!! I’m so happy for you- and the big lug.”

Shaw hugged Shannon as soon as Root put her down. Megan grinned and clapped her hands, waiting her turn. Elizabeth stared open-mouthed at her mom. Recovering her composure, she smiled faintly, then said.

“What did you say Mama?”

Shannon briefly hugged Megan, then approached her daughter. Taking Elizabeth’s hands in hers she smiled.

“Honey, I spent most of my life going through men like they were things to be used and disposed of, all because I thought my one chance at happiness had left me. That was your father. Now that I’ve met John, I know I can finally say goodbye to that ghost that’s haunted me since he left.

“John is the man who can stand in the glow of what I felt for your father and reflect all the good things about it rather than be cast in the shadow of his memory. I can’t and I won’t let that get away. I said yes, and also that I might make him get down on one knee and properly propose in front of all his friends.”

Root and Shaw said simultaneously, “DO IT!!”

Elizabeth smiled at her mother and hugged her. Her eyes shone with unshed tears.

“When we came here and I found out John was infatuated with you, I was really upset. I was sure you were going to do to him what you did to everyone I ever saw you with. After we talked about my father and what really happened, I hoped more than anything that you could find some happiness in your life.

“I’m happy for you, Mama, and I think the two of you will be good for each other."

Elizabeth tilted her head and frowned briefly.

"But, I won't be calling John 'dad' anytime soon; ' _old man_ ' might work though."

Elizabeth's frown turned into a big smile.

"I _really like_ old man."

Shannon shook her head. Smiling she tilted her head toward the mall entrance.

“Ladies, shall we?”

The five headed through the doors.

….

Reese pulled the Escalade into a handicapped spot near the entrance and pulled the handicapped ID from the glove box. _Root and Shaw are still in recovery_. He left the engine running so the AC would keep the interior cool for the ladies. _Not that he wanted to be comfortable_. As he sat back to wait, he noticed a floral delivery van pull up to the mall entrance and park briefly.

When the van pulled away, Reese noticed four men in sweatsuits standing where the van had just stopped. Reese was wondering idly why they all were so overdressed in 80 degree heat when they split up, two headed for the mall entrance, two approaching the area where he’d parked the Escalade. As he watched, the two reached under their sweatshirts and drew weapons.

Reese opened the driver’s door and rolled out, drawing his weapon as he hit the pavement. The pair had split up, one coming around the back and the other in front. The man in front hesitated at the engine compartment and Reese took him down shooting his ankles out from under the car. The one in back wasn’t as lucky. He rushed around the back after hearing his companion scream in pain and took one in the chest and a second in his forehead.

John raced to the mall entrance.

….

Shannon had fallen behind the others as she glanced at display windows, lost in thought. _A ring! He wants to get a ring!_ The smile kept returning to her face as she thought how he fumbled around- first with asking her out then his asking her to marry him. _Clumsiest proposal ever!_ Her thoughts kept returning to that day in the hospital when she and Elizabeth had had their confrontation over her relationships.

_I can’t fix what I did to you honey, but maybe I can fix what I did to me._

Shannon stopped at a dress shop and took a step toward the entrance. Up ahead the others turned into the jewelry store entrance, lost in their excitement for themselves and Shanon. Two men in sweats rushed by the dress shop. They missed Shannon as they focused on the group entering the jeweler.

Shannon noticed them in passing as they rushed past. _There’s something familiar about that guy in the red- something about his eyes._ Warning bells were going off in her head, and she headed toward the pair, not sure why.

The man in red slowed as he approached the jewelry store and reached under his sweatshirt. As his hand came free, Shannon’s mind clicked- _the guy on the motorbike!_ She saw him holding something in his hand- her blood ran cold when she recognized it.

_Grenade!_

Breaking into a sprint, she passed the man in red’s partner who reached under _his_ shirt and removed a gun. As he was bringing the weapon up to firing position, he was thrust forward, pain spreading from his back. He only noticed it for a second.

….

Reese had entered the mall and headed for the jeweler. He marked the two remaining attackers instantly and noticed Shannon racing past one as she headed toward the other. As the man she had just passed pulled his gun and began to raise it, Reese fired twice. His first shot caught the man dead center in his back, the second hit where his neck joined his skull.

He turned his attention to the remaining attacker and realized instantly he had no clear shot. He watched helplessly as Shannon launched herself screaming at the man in red, noticing at the last second the object in his hand.

_Grenade!_

….

Shannon screamed as she realized he was pulling the pin. The man hesitated just long enough for Shannon to dive at him, right arm extended. Her partially closed hand caught the attacker in the throat, stunning him. The grenade dropped on the floor next to him. Finding strength she didn’t know she had, she hit him a second time and he dropped to his knees in front of the grenade.

She hit him a third time, then slammed his head into the concrete floor. She barely had time to drag him over the grenade and turn to run when the world erupted under her. Her last conscious thought as her body was launched into the air was.. _bad day to die_.

….

Reese watched in horror as the grenade exploded and sent Shannon flying into a kiosk filled with cell phone accessories. The explosion took down the kiosk burying Shannon in the debris. Reese’s mind went blank as he headed toward the rubble, slowing only to yell at the four others and point to the destruction.

“Shannon!”

He race to the debris field and began lifting chunks of lumber off Shannon’s body. He didn’t notice the tears streaming down his face as he focused on the only thing that kept him from losing it completely- getting her clear. As the last portion of wallboard was removed, he gasped in horror.

Blood was pouring from a head wound and leaking onto the floor. Her chest looked like someone had thrown a bucket of red paint on it. Shannon’s eyes were partially closed and she showed no signs of life. As Reese started to pick her up to cradle her to his chest, he was roughly pushed aside by Shaw.

Shaw and Dr. Tillman both knelt at Shannon’s side. Shaw checked her eyes and felt for a pulse at her neck. Dr. Tillman was checking Shannon’s chest and felt her wrist looking for a pulse. Time stopped for Reese as he watched his two friends work feverishly on his love. He looked up and noticed Root on her phone with 911. Elizabeth stood by helplessly watching the scene play out in front of her.

_No Mama, no. Please don’t die. Don’t do that to John… or me._

Tears slid down her cheeks as she met John’s terrified gaze. Root disconnected and turned toward the group.

“Paramedics on way.” She turned her back and held her hand up to her head, certain it was a waste of time. She turned back when she heard an audible gasp from Shaw. Sam was staring at John and Elizabeth in something resembling awe.

“She’s alive.”

Elizabeth shook her head, certain she’d heard wrong. Staring at Shaw and Dr. Tillman, she tilted her head, imploring Shaw to confirm. Shaw nodded and tapped Megan on the forearm. Dr. Tillman looked up at them and nodded.

“Yes, but she needs to get to a hospital, stat.”

John turned toward the display window of the jeweler, leaned his head against it and cried for one of the few times in his life.


	11. Chapter 11

The paramedics arrived in less than ten minutes- too long for the group hovering over Shannon’s near lifeless body. Before they could begin work, Dr. Tillman started giving orders and within five Shannon was headed toward the ambulance as the doctor worked with the crew to get her IV started as they moved.

“We don’t have time to wait, she needs plasma and surgery within the next few minutes or she’ll bleed out. We can hook her up in the ambulance and get it started but we need to get moving- now!”

John and Elizabeth trotted alongside the gurney and, as they loaded Shannon into the ambulance, Megan looked at John.

“Meet us at the hospital, Elizabeth can ride with me and her mom.” She then looked at the paramedics.

“Turing Memorial, and don’t waste any time.”

The ambulance driver shook his head.

“We work out of Lovelace- it’s two minutes closer.”

Dr. Tillman was adamant.

“Turing, and go- NOW! It’s quicker and set up for this type of emergency. Our trauma center adjoins the ER and I don’t have time to argue.”

As the driver hesitated, Elizabeth jumped in the passenger seat. She drew her gun and, tears streaming down her cheeks, pointed it at the driver.

“Don’t make me use this and drive myself. Listen to her and get my MOTHER to Turing.”

The driver’s eyes widened and he nodded.

“OK, OK we’re going.”

Dr. Tillman threw Elizabeth her cell. It was already ringing.

“Tell Jamie we need three units of plasma, two of … Elizabeth, do you know your mom’s blood type?”

“ _A positive_ , I remember from early in her recovery from the accident.”

“Two units of _A positive_ and set up in Trauma One immediately. Head and chest- and have her call Dr. West and Dr. Franks to get there stat.”

Elizabeth began speaking into the phone as Dr. Tillman turned back to Shannon. Looking up at the other paramedic, she briefly put her hand to her forehead.

“I know this is not protocol, but my hospital was specifically designed and built for this type of occurrence. You’ll understand when we arrive.”

The paramedic, still reeling from Elizabeth’s outburst, stared and Megan silently. Then nodding, he went back to work checking vitals.

….

John, Root and Shaw arrived minutes after the ambulance, but Shannon and Dr. Tillman were nowhere to be found. As they raced into the ER, they saw Elizabeth standing alone, blood staining her shirt and tears staining her cheeks. John walked up to her and grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Is she still alive?”

Elizabeth stared at Reese and took a deep breath.

“Yes and Dr. West and a trauma surgeon just went in.” She indicated the Trauma Unit. Dr. Tillman appeared suddenly and waved Elizabeth over.

“You still have my phone- I need it.”

Elizabeth handed it over. Megan hesitated, briefly, then squeezed Elizabeth’s hand.

“She’s got a chance, we are going to do everything possible to save her.”

Turning, she headed back inside the Trauma Center.

Shaw, needing something to do, called Harold to let him know what happened.

“Harold, Shannon’s hurt- bad. She’s in surgery….. we don’t know if she’s going to make it.”

As she updated Finch on the events of the day, Shaw had a thought nagging at her. _Why didn’t Root or I get a warning?_ Finally, after bringing him up to speed, she asked the question.

“So Harold, why do do think our all-seeing friend decided to keep quiet? We could have been warned trouble was coming, but the only warning we got was Reese telling us she’d been hurt. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know Ms. Shaw, but it’s certainly troubling. We may have to suspend any tracking of numbers until this situation is dealt with. I’ll have to do some investigating.”

Shaw tightened her grip on the phone.

“I hope you find something out, Harold, and I hope it’s not too late for Shannon.”

Shaw ended the call and returned to the group. As she arrived a man and woman raced into the entrance and headed toward Trauma.

“We’re Dr. Phillips and Dr. Staunton. Dr. Tillman called us in for a Trauma case.”

The pair disappeared into the Trauma Center. Shaw, still feeling the need to do something, updated the others on her conversation with Finch. When she mentioned her concerns over the Machine’s silence, John interrupted.

“The same thing happened the day we found those four young girls. The machine texted an address, then went completely silent- in fact I haven’t heard anything from it since it sent us the address.”

Root listened quietly, lost in thought. Finally, she appeared to make a decision.

“Can you hear me?”

_Yes._

“You could have warned us today, and warned John and Elizabeth last week. What happened?”

_Nothing_

“What do you mean nothing- why didn’t you warn us? Last week you sent them into a dangerous situation, then you went silent. Explain yourself.”

_Admin not threatened._

Root’s face flushed and her eyes got wide.

“What the hell? What about three assets? What about the doctor you recruited to run this hospital? What about Elizabeth’s mom- _who may very well die?_ ”

_Assets replaceable. Medical staffing available._

“Shit! Sam, did you hear that?”

“Yeah- I better call Harold back.”

Fifteen minutes later, Finch ended the call from Shaw and went to work on his laptop. After two hours he made a decision- and several phone calls, the last to Shaw.

“Ms. Shaw, I have troubling news. But first is there any word on Ms. Ruben?”

“Still in surgery Finch, the good news is the longer she’s in there alive, the better her chances are of staying alive. What’s the troubling news?”

“I’m afraid we have to interrupt communication with the Machine until we resolve this situation. My conversation with it indicates the Machine has evolved toward what we feared Samaritan was- an amoral, even immoral entity. We will have to do some serious soul searching on how to deal with this once Ms. Ruben is out of danger.

“As you know, there is another small team working out of the DC area. I’ve sent word to them advising they come to New York until we resolve this issue. I expect the three of them to be here tomorrow at the latest. I’m advising everyone there to remove any communications capabilities until we address this. Just shut your comms down for the foreseeable future and please let me know as soon as we have an update on Elizabeth’s mom.”

“Will do Harold.”

Shaw disconnected and walked over to Root and Reese.

“Harold’s really worried about the Machine. So worried he wants us to shut down _all_ communications with it until further notice. He’s also recalled the DC team to New York until this is resolved. Once Shannon’s out of danger we’ll worry about what to do about it. I suspect Finch will work on the problem while he waits for word on Shannon.”

Reese looked at Shaw, hope and desperation fighting for control.

“You think she’s going to make it?”

“John, I’ve seen Megan and this place perform miracles. I think she has a real shot. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last year and some it’s that we can never give up and never lose hope.”

They went back to waiting.

….

The four were joined by Gen about an hour later. The teen’s boundless optimism lifted the group’s spirits and there actually were a few smiles.

“Dr. Tillman’s the best doctor around, and this is the best hospital. They’ll fix her up good as new, I know it.”

Root smiled and took Gen’s hand.

“I sure hope you’re right, Gen. Should we go down to the dining room and get you something to eat?”

“Nah, I ate before I came up. The kids were driving me a little batty today, so I talked them into going to the cafeteria. It was fun, they don’t get to eat decent food a lot, so buying them lunch makes me feel good.”

“Buying them lunch? How many? And where do you get the money?”

“Oh I talked to Dr. Tillman about this when we first got here. I told her the kids seemed like they never got enough to eat at home, but here, if they weren’t patients, it was even worse because they couldn’t afford to eat here. Most were skipping lunch and we decided to buy them lunch every day. It’s usually brought in, but today I wanted to get them out so we went to the dining room. I’ve got a card Dr. Tillman gave me to pay for it.”

“Gen, you amaze me sometimes, your thoughtfulness and compassion for these kids. I’m so proud of you.”

Root gave her a heartfelt hug. Gen smiled and walked over to Elizabeth and took her hand. After a moment Elizabeth looked up at Gen and pulled her into a hug. Squeezing her tightly, she spoke softly into her ear.

“I’m holding on until some of your optimism rubs off on me.”

“Elizabeth, she’s your friend, you two are in love- she’ll never let anything happen to your mom. She’s the best doctor around, it’s going to be OK.”

Elizabeth sniffled into Gen’s shoulder, then smiled and let go.

“I’m going to believe you Gen, You’ve apparently been right about this stuff before.”

They went back to waiting.

….

Two hours later, the automatic door to the Trauma Unit opened and an exhausted but smiling Dr. Tillman came out.

“I think she’s out of danger, it looks like she’s going to survive.”

Megan walked over to Elizabeth and put her arms around her. Elizabeth, hugged her tightly and sobbed into her shoulder.

“Oh God, Megan, thank you, thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, the three best Trauma surgeons I know and Dr. West did most of the work. I was mostly an assistant while they all worked their magic. They’ll be out in a few minutes but I wanted to let you know right away.

“There are some issues. She has a large scalp laceration that will require some minor plastic surgery. Within a few weeks there should be only minor scarring. The major damage was done to her chest region. Shrapnel, splinters and a damaged artery caused extensive trauma to Shannon- stopping the arterial bleeding took over two hours.

“She lost a lot of blood and received five units during the surgery. The team had to remove her left breast- it was shredded in the explosion. Fortunately, with all the advances being done in breast reconstruction, she will get a new artificial one once she recovers from the other trauma. All in all, she’s a very lucky woman.”

Dr. Tillman sat down in one of the recliners. Elizabeth and Shaw approached John who was holding his head in his hands. Elizabeth squeezed his shoulder while Shaw knelt down and rested her hand on his knee.

“You OK, John? She’s going to make it.”

His whole body shook as he looked up at his friends. Tears were streaming down his cheeks but a smile was trying to break through. He fought to control his voice.

“I don’t know what I would have done if, if….”

Shaw squeezed his knee again.

“But we don’t have to worry about that, John. She’s going to be fine.”

Elizabeth leaned down and kissed his forehead.

“I’m so glad she found you. You’re going to be so good for each other.”

Root came over and hugged both of them. She turned to Shaw.

“Sam, you should call Harry.”

Nodding, Shaw walked away from the group. As she was talking to Finch three men and a woman came out of the Trauma Center, still in scrubs stained with blood and other fluids. Dr. West led the group who approached Elizabeth and John. Dr. West spoke first.

“This is Dr. James Staunton, Dr. Stephanie Phillips and Dr. Walter Franks. They worked on Ms. Ruben and, with Dr. Tillman are responsible for saving her life.”

Dr. Phillips held up her hand.

“Dr. West is just as responsible for her survival as we are. This was a team effort and, from my vantage point was a most exhilarating experience. We don’t often get a chance to work on someone with severity like this and have the patient survive. Your mother and your friend is a very fortunate woman. She’s also a very strong one. It was touch and go there for awhile.”

Elizabeth and John shook each doctor’s hand. Reese said what was on everyone’s mind.

“Thank you seems so inadequate.”

Dr. West smiled.

“It’s very gratifying to be part of a team that has gone through an event like this. We owe Dr. Tillman thanks for bringing us in and directing the entire procedure.”

Gen’s voice interrupted them. They turned to see her smiling as she stood next to Megan. Gen had brought a blanket and covered the doctor, who had fallen fast asleep.

“When she wakes up, we can all thank her.”


	12. Chapter 12

The group sat together for about forty-five minutes before breaking up. Dr. Tillman woke up after a brief fifteen minute nap and headed to her office to shower and change clothes. Root, Shaw and Gen headed toward the Escalade and took off for home. Both Elizabeth and John wanted to stay until Shannon was moved from the Trauma Unit to a private ICU suite. Neither was leaving until Shannon woke up.

After another interminable two hours, Megan decided they could move Shannon and the three accompanied the gurney to the suite less than fifty feet down the corridor. The entire area had been constructed with a situation like this in mind- Trauma and ER adjoin with ICU and recovery close enough to ensure any return trips would be without any delay.

The group settled in to the ICU suite around midnight with Reese taking the first watch. He was determined to sit by Shannon’s side until she regained consciousness, regardless of how long that was. Dr. Tillman figured he wasn’t hurting anything and for tonight she’d let him believe he could do just that. Privately, she expected it to be three or four _days_ before Shannon woke up.

As Reese settled into the recliner just five feet from his love, he couldn’t shake the thought that maybe, just maybe, his luck had finally turned. Except for Harold and the rest of the team, everyone he’d ever loved had died, and the timing of each death seemed designed to destroy his humanity bit by bit.

First his father, then Jessica and when he’d found a purpose in his life helping Finch save the numbers, he met Joss. They danced around a relationship for months until finally facing their feelings for each other head on. Then she was gone and Reese fell back down the rabbit hole, only to be rescued by the love of his teammates.

John had made his peace with his life, his tragedies and his mission when he headed up on the roof to finish Samaritan once and for all. That he didn’t die on that roof truly perplexed him. _I’ve given everything I had- why couldn’t I have just been done?_ The thought echoed through his mind periodically after he had begun to recover his memory.

He did his best to hide the depression that threatened to overwhelm him but thoughts of death and his being cheated of the ending he believed he deserved kept returning and he wondered why he was still around.

Then he was standing in a hospital waiting room, Root undergoing heart surgery in a desperate attempt to save her life. His thoughts of depression had been pushed aside over concern over his friend and teammate. When Ellie arrived, he was happy to see her and then she introduced him to her mother… and he was both _lost_... and _alive again_.

One look into Shannon Ruben’s eyes and John knew he’d never be the same. Thoughts of depression, death and even the danger his friend currently was facing in the operating theatre down the hall flew out of his head as he stared at… well he had trouble with coherent thought for several minutes.

Finally, when Shaw came over and confronted him gently over his gaping, he returned to reality determined to discover more about Elizabeth’s mom. From that moment Reese was changed and he began to emerge from the abyss he had sunk into. As their relationship began, then grew, John felt healed in a way he had believed impossible since Joss died. The hole in his heart, while still there, was gradually being filled by another- and he was certain Joss would approve, if she were here to see it.

The events of the last eight hours, while traumatic, left Reese with the hope that he wasn’t cursed, that there was the possibility of happiness in his future. Shannon had already filled him with a joy he didn’t believe possible after losing so much and so many in his life. The simple fact of Shannon’s survival stunned him as he realized the implications.

_Is this how the curse ends? Does walking up to the edge yet again, but this time not falling into the pit- does this change things? Is there hope for my future? What would I have done if she hadn’t made it- blamed myself for her death because I should have never allowed myself to get close to her?_

_But now, now that she’s going to make it, does this mean it’s over? Can I actually consider a life with love, happiness and yes, contentment in it? When she recovers I need her to know how close to the edge this whole thing pushed me, and we need to talk about my fears both for her and for the future. I know this- if she had died, I would have followed, and not just inside._

Reese stirred when he felt a hand shaking his arm. He opened his eyes to Elizabeth smiling gently down at him. He sat up with a start, looking over at the bed where Shannon still lay unconscious but _alive_.

“Hey John, it’s 5:00 in the morning. Why don’t you head back and get some rest, maybe clean up and change clothes. You’ve still got stuff all over you. I’ll sit with Mama for awhile. You’ve been here for almost six hours- it’s time for a break.”

“Thanks Ellie, I will go up and clean up. I don’t know how much rest I’ll get until your mom wakes up again. I want to be here when she opens her eyes. I can’t believe, now that it looks like she’s going to survive, that she did that. Talk about your mama bears. She saw you in danger and took that guy down with her bare hands, then used his body to shield everyone from the explosion.”

John shook his head gently back and forth.

“Wow.”

Elizabeth smiled at him.

“You know John, everyone used to make a big deal over my mother breaking all these glass ceilings by her work in IT and as a consultant. I saw her kill, skin and butcher a 250 pound buck when I was ten years old. I saw her send thugs packing when we were traveling in LA when Gray and I were on Spring Break one year.

“She learned early on that protecting her family was up to her, and she was always willing to get her hands dirty when and if the occasion required it. What she did yesterday was unique only because she got hurt, and that was because she didn’t feel there was any other option.

“I spent much of my teens and adult life resenting the way she treated men. I’ve always been in awe of her intellect, her physical talents and the way she’s willing to use them to get what she wants and protect what she loves.

“She’s always been _the_ most fearsome and awesome person I ever met, and that includes all of you guys. She did it without the training you and Shaw received in the military- just what she learned growing up in the west and through life experiences. I see now that she picked up some of her skills after my brother’s father abused her but her core- the strength that made her what she is- that she always had.

“Maybe that’s why I was so insistent on helping you and Harold after you saved me from dying in that storage container. Maybe that’s why I wouldn’t quit after several brushes with death. Maybe I was trying to do something worthy of my mother all this time so I could tell myself I measured up.

“I don’t know- she never made me feel inadequate- but maybe I just felt inadequate and wanted to do something and be someone who could measure up to the type of person she was and is….without the way she treated men, of course.

“I’m just thankful that she’s still around and I’m going to get to see her enjoy some real happiness in her life.”

Ellie looked up at John with a smile and eyes shining.

“And I’m thankful that you’re going to be the reason for that happiness.”

Reese smiled back.

“I’m just thankful that I didn’t lose her after realizing she was the one who could make me whole again. I want to spend the rest of my life enjoying her. I think I would quit tomorrow if I thought it would keep the two of us safe, but we have some issues that need addressing before we see what ‘ever after’ even means.”

John headed out to clean up and Elizabeth sat down, took her mother’s hand and began to work on her tablet with her other hand.

_We need to find a way to fix the Machine- or we will have to destroy it like they did with Samaritan._

….

At their home, Root and Shaw were discussing the same thing as they drank coffee in bed.

“Root, the Machine is becoming a problem- one similar to what caused the war with Samaritan. What if ‘ _she_ ’ decides we are an obstacle to her developing a final solution to problems in the world because we’re trying to impose restrictions on her powers?

“What if ‘ _she_ ’ decides all humanity is an obstacle? This is very similar to the issues we faced with Samaritan. We have a chance but we need to fix this _now_ \- if this continues we may have to hit your all-seeing friend with an ‘Ice 9’ fix.”

“I don’t disagree with you Sam. What She’s been doing the last few months is not the entity that I was such a part of before the war. I feel responsible for it- I’m the one that pushed so hard for her to be freed to fight Samaritan as an equal. I thought it was the right move then, I still think it was our only option.

“However, we might have had the opportunity to put the genie back in the bottle after Samaritan was destroyed by reinstalling the restrictions while she was rebooting. Maybe none of this would have happened if we’d been proactive with her coming back online.”

Sameen reached over and took Root’s hand. Softly, she reassured with a look.

“Root, you’re forgetting the fact that you were dead- well almost dead. Finch was in Europe and you were the only two that could have possibly intervened. Everyone has 20/20 hindsight- but we’re just figuring this out now. There’s no possible way this could have played out any different without killing our Machine when we killed Samaritan.”

Root smiled, and leaned over to kiss Sameen on the cheek.

“You’re right, of course, but I hope we can fix her and not have to go to war with her. I don’t need to be ‘analogue interface’ anymore- you’re the only voice I need to hear. Well, yours and Gen’s, but I think the world could be a better place with her around- but only if we can reinstall an ethical base for the way She views the world and the people in it.

“Plus, there’s the possibility of someone out there developing another Samaritan, and we may very well need her to stop that from becoming a problem for the future.”

Shaw hopped out of bed.

“Well, we’d better call Harry and Elizabeth and get to work on that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all for reading. I am appealing to any who've read this installment and any of the others- how does this fit in? I took the focus deliberately away from exclusively Root and Shaw and would appreciate some feedback on how it developed. Once again, I think we're almost done with this installment, but I don't think I'm calling the shots anymore. ;)


	13. Chapter 13

Root and Harold spent part of that morning setting up a way to conference all five members into their usual brainstorming session from any location. As long as one person in that location had a tablet, smart phone or laptop they would be able to join in the teleconference. The sessions were being reformatted with one goal preeminent: getting the Machine to acquiesce in changes to its core DNA.

The session kicked off at 10:15AM Albuquerque time just after noon in New York. Finch was stationed in the suite at the Surrey alone as Grace was having lunch in the hotel dining room. She was going to check a couple properties after lunch giving Finch the solitude they felt might be necessary to solve the vexing problem of the Machine’s evolution.

Their first session was mostly a rehash of the previous weeks’ work both as a review and as a way of checking to see if anyone missed anything. Gen interrupted Harold at a certain point to return to something she had previously mentioned.

“I talked to both Harold and Root about this since we first dismissed it and want to mention it again- I think it’s very possible the Machine is interpreting what we’re doing as a threat and shutting itself down to protect itself. I’ve also done a little research into the way these shutdown protocols usually work.

“When a glitch in coding occurs, the subsequent failure mechanism isn’t triggered for some time. Now in processing terms, some time is seconds or minutes rather than hours or days…..”

Elizabeth interrupted, a little less gently than normally.

“We all know that Gen, what’s….”

Root put her hand on Elizabeth’s arm, got her attention, and lifted her index finger.

_Wait._

“Let her finish Elizabeth, I think I know where this is going.”

Elizabeth shrugged, then nodded. Gen, smiling at the others, continued.

“As I said, in processing terms, seconds or minutes is ‘some time’ but… _every time we run our tests, the shutdown is in hundredths of a second._

“There’s no way that is normal processing protocol. The Machine is deliberately shutting our attempted fixes down before they can even run. It’s the only answer I can come up with. What we have to do is figure out if it’s possible to circumvent the Machine’s actions so we can actually test our ‘fixes’.

Shaw sat at the table with the others stunned at Gen’s statements. Not the statement itself but the confident way she presented it.

_She’s not only brilliant but her confidence is growing by leaps and bounds. She can’t even drive yet but she’s driving this part of the discussion with poise most people never achieve in their lifetimes._

Root was also looking at Gen, the pride interrupting briefly the processing she was doing of Gen’s statements and the implications they brought.

“Harry, I think we have to consider Gen’s conclusion and brainstorm ways to circumvent the possibility that Gen is right. I also think the events of the last week or so, coupled with the Machine’s statements when confronted, lend credence to Gen’s theory.

“If the Machine has both evolved into a Samaritan-like AI and is perceiving our attempts to halt that evolution as a threat to its existence we have to find a work around it will accept or we have to think about using something like the Ice-9 virus again.”

Roots eyes filled with tears as she said the last part. She was still emotionally tied to the Machine and while she knew what might need to be done, she didn’t have to like it.

Shaw, seeing the emotions conflicting Root, reached over and took her hand. She gently rubbed her thumb around the palm of Root’s hand, making meaningless patterns, letting her touch comfort without words. Root smiled gratefully at Sameen.

Elizabeth watched this smiling faintly. _They’ve come so far since the library in New York. I remember Root locked in a Faraday cage while the team figured out what to do with….. with…. why do I think the library is so important?_

“Harold, why am I thinking that the library is important? I was just thinking- admiring how far these two” she indicated Root and Shaw, “have come since you guys had her locked in the Faraday cage and for some reason the library is nagging at my subconscious.

“Why is that? Does anyone have any ideas?”

Finch was silent, running possibilities through his mind. Root and Shaw looked at each other shrugging as if to say _No clue_. Gen, playing with a pencil on Elizabeth’s left looked at the group almost hesitantly before…

“Is that _‘home’_?”

Elizabeth, intrigued nodded at Gen.

“Go on.”

“Well, maybe if the Machine was born there, which is what my understanding of how it was originally developed, it may consider that home. I mean, Harold developed several incarnations of the Machine before he found one that functioned as designed, he released it, or freed it as Root used to say to spread throughout the Internet.”

Root leaned forward, excited.

“Harry, the most traumatic events she ‘lived’ through took place after we had to abandon the library as a base of operations. We moved her to the subway, where she almost died more than once, then ever since our base of operations has been here.

“If she considers us family, we’ve moved several times, uprooting her and her ‘comfort zone’ for lack of a better word. Maybe she misses her ‘home’ and resents us for taking it away from her. It’s possible that returning to her ‘birthplace’ could return her to a comfort level that would allow us to try the changes we originally designed.

“It is certainly worth a shot.”

Finch puzzled over the idea for several minutes before sighing his agreement.

“I’m not sure if it makes sense, but so much of what has happened during the last several months doesn’t make sense, so I must reluctantly agree. We are going to have to clean up and restore the library to functionality but I think that can be done within a day or two. I have Mr. Pierce, Mr. Durban and Ms. Rose to assist so we should be ready two days from now.

“Please continue to ignore the Machine’s communications…. hopefully this won’t be a permanent situation.”

After they discussed logistics for thirty minutes or so the session ended. While Elizabeth, Root and Shaw headed toward Shannon’s room, Gen returned to her “students” for the rest of the day. Finch placed a call to Logan Pierce.

“Mr. Pierce, I need you, Mr. Durban and Ms. Rose to work a project for me.”

He proceeded to give Pierce the details of the session and what they were going to attempt, earning a skeptical response.

“You think this will work?”

“Honestly, Mr. Pierce, I have no idea. I _do_ know Ms. Zhirova has come up with the best explanation so far of what has caused the shutdown whenever we attempt to run our ‘fixes’. If she is correct that the Machine is shutting us down due to fear, anger and/or resentment, we have to reassure the Machine we are not trying to kill it or harm it with these changes.

“Will it work? Uncertain, however it certainly can’t hurt and it’s the most viable option we’ve come up with since this problem presented itself. We need to rebuild the entire area we used including the room which contained the Faraday cage we locked Ms. Gr….. Root in.

“We may have to bring the team back here to recreate an atmosphere which will allow the Machine to feel comfortable enough to view us as ‘assets’ rather than enemies. It’s possible that the setting alone won’t ‘comfort’ the Machine- we may have to recreate the setting all the way from inception to the Machine’s first release- all without any guarantee of success.

“It’s the best option we have- and it’s certainly better than trying to both destroy the Machine and completely rebuild it. That is a task I’m not sure we’re capable of.”

“We’ll get on it immediately.”

“Thank you Mr. Pierce.”

….

Across the country, Elizabeth was arguing with Reese about his stubborn refusal to leave Shannon’s side until she wakes up. Instead of sleeping in his quarters, he had taken up temporary residence in the ICU suite Shannon was recovering in, sleeping fitfully in a recliner pulled as close to her bed as possible. As a result, for three days he had only slept fitfully and left the suite to shower and change clothes.

“John, you haven’t slept more than two hours at a time for three days. It’s affecting your health. I was discussing this with Megan and she related a conversation she had with Shaw when Shaw first got here and Root was still in a coma.

“She told her, ‘What good is healing the patient if the protocols necessary to facilitate that healing are harmful to the patient’s loved ones?’ You’re wrecking your health in a totally unnecessary attempt to deal with the guilt that she’s there and not you.”

Reese flashed an angry look at Elizabeth.

“Watch it Ellie, you’re stepping close to the line.”

“John, I love my mom, but I love _you_ as well. I also know my mom and when and if she discovers you lived in here at the expense of you own well-being, well she’s not only going to be angry with you… she will lose respect for you.

“Your strong enough and smart enough to realize she will eventually wake up and expect you to be in decent shape- not a physical wreck from sitting helplessly by her side wringing your hands.”

John growled at her, but smiled faintly as the wisdom of her words struck home.

“Fine- watch her for awhile, will you? I’m going to go up, change, go down to the gym for a half hour and then clean up. Tonight, _after I spend the evening with your mother_ , I’ll sleep in my quarters.”

He made a face at Elizabeth, then left.

Smiling, Elizabeth took a seat in the recliner and reached over and took her mother’s hand. Despite the bruising and bandages, she appeared peaceful, face relaxed, breathing even.

_John, I and the whole team are so lucky. We could, maybe should be preparing to bury her. Instead the doctors think she’ll be waking up in the next 24-36 hours and she could be back on her feet in a matter of a few weeks. It’s a miracle._

Elizabeth sat back and closed her eyes, worrying over the problem with the Machine as she held her mother’s hand. With less emotional tie to the AI, she knew the potential destruction of it would affect Finch and Root the most, John and Shaw significantly and the rest of the team less. The fact that she’d never even met the Washington unit slanted her thoughts regarding them, however knowing they weren’t really a part of Team Machine until the last year or so lent credence to her feelings about their attachment.

Her thoughts turned to the possibility of having to go forward without the existence of the Machine. The implications of that eventuality were threefold- first the danger of another Samaritan coming online without resistance, second the numbers that would go without either assistance or opposition and last the fracturing of the group she’d come to feel like her family.

_If the Machine goes, do we simply drift apart. I feel like I would lose a huge part of me if we went our separate ways. Since Shaw called me for the first time when that asshole had Root and Gen I feel renewed, rejuvenated._

_Plus Mama had completely recovered due to the facilities and staff here._

_Plus Mama and John got together._

_Plus…. Megan._

As if by magic, the door to Shannon’s suite opened, and Dr. Tillman entered. Elizabeth looked up, smiling ear to ear. Megan approached, leaned down and kissed Elizabeth on the cheek.

“You’re sure looking perky this afternoon.”

“I was just thinking about you and voila, here you are. I’ll remember this for future reference.”

Dr. Tillman rolled her eyes. “Any change?”

“Well, she’s still out, but I think I talked John into loosening his grip on this recliner. He’s agreed to sleep in his own room tonight.” Elizabeth then related their conversation. Dr. Tillman nodded her agreement.

“It’s so important that family and friends be cognizant of their own well-being while keeping vigil in situations like this. I’m glad you could make John see the light.”

Elizabeth smiled and rested her hand on Megan’s hip.

“Well, I used your arguments with Shaw to convince him.”

Megan glanced meaningfully at where Elizabeth’s hand was resting.

“Be careful, unless you’re planning on using that soon.”

Beth smiled up at Megan.

“John will be back in an hour or so. I’ll meet you in your office.”

Megan leered back.

“Can’t wait.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, sorry for the slow updates- sometimes life gets in way of what we'd like to be doing.

Memories flooded over Finch as he walked into the library. All the trials, failures and finally successes came back vivid as if they happened only days ago instead of years ago. The ornate building, built during the heyday of late 19th and early 20th century building booms in New York, had been purchased by Harold when abandoned by the New York Library System years ago.

He and Nathan Ingram had spent many hours separately and together giving the Machine life in the years after the terrorist attacks of 9/11. While Harold originally argued against Nathan’s back door access to irrelevant numbers, leading to Finch’s closing it; he had a change of heart after Nathan was murdered by the government in an attempt to keep the Machine’s existence secret.

Reopening the back door, Harold recruited Rick Dillinger to assist him in dealing with the numbers. When Dillinger went rogue, he was killed by ISA agent Sameen Shaw. Finch recruited John Reese to replace Dillinger, then Shaw was brought on board after ISA decided to kill her (the _government assassin retirement program_ being notoriously lacking in benefits).

Eventually Root becomes a member of the team. She accesses them initially by putting a hit on herself. Later she tases Shaw and finally kidnaps Finch and is shot by Shaw after a failed attempt at finding the Machine. She becomes the Machine’s analog interface and helps the team find Reese who went off the grid after the murder of Joss Carter.

Her time spent captive in a psychiatric hospital and in a Faraday cage in the library changed Root and gradually the team’s relationship with her. Over time, the team absorbs Root and begins to trust her- in large part due to the Machine’s (and Shaw’s) trusting her.

All this washed over Harold as he climbed the stairs to the second floor. As he approached the room that served as the base of operations for the first few years of the team’s existence, he marveled at the work done re-creating the area destroyed by Samaritan operatives when the team had to take sanctuary in the subway.

_It’s like stepping through a time portal- it’s exactly as I remember it._

Logan Pierce, Joey Durban and Harper Rose followed Finch up the stairs several paces behind. They were certain the work was as close to the original as humanly possible (Pierce thinking- _With the Machine’s help we could have even replicated the books perfectly_ ) but wondered how Finch would react faced with this trip back in time.

Several moments passed as Finch wandered through the large room and adjoining areas that made up their initial base of operation. Finally, he turned to the three who made up the DC team and smiled.

“You’ve done an amazing job- it’s perfect, or as close to perfect as I can imagine. For this to work the Machine will have to feel a sense of _home_ as Ms. Zhirova put it, a feeling of comfort for lack of a better description. Thank you.”

The three smiled back at Finch, uncomfortable with his praise. Logan spoke for them all.

“All that matters is that this works. We want, no we need the Machine back and functioning like it did when it recruited us. We’ve talked about this since you contacted us last week and advised us to discontinue all communications with it. It’s important to the people we help and to the other teams that must be out there that we don’t even know about.”

The others nodded at Pierce’s words. Finch was moved by their obvious devotion to both the Machine and the mission. After a moment, he regained his poise and continued.

“We will start by establishing sessions with the team that’s in place in Albuquerque. I’d like to include you all in the original sessions, then we will see how best to conduct them going forward.

“While the initial session run, I’ve put together a loop of the surveillance and webcam feeds during the months Nathan and I spent developing the Machine, creating the back door and interacting with it during the time we were headquartered here.

“There is over twenty hours of video I plan on playing through monitors I had you set up throughout the area- each accessible by either webcam or security cameras. The goal is to give the Machine a sense of how much the entire team cared for it as we work on the solution to its current predicament.

“There were parts of the video I deliberately eliminated- parts where we argued about the Machine and it’s restrictions, its capabilities and its future. I want to reinforce the sense of _love_ for lack of a better word that went into the process of building, tweaking and freeing it- reinforce the sense of family we all felt at one time or another for it.

“I realize it sounds odd to give it. or _her_ as Ms… Root likes to call the Machine, characteristics that humanize. I also realize that if our operating theory, that the Machine has lost any trust it had in us and is reacting purely out of self-preservation is correct, then we need to rebuild trust so it will allow us to reinstall needed restrictions.

“Whenever the Machine accesses any of the areas in here, it will see the video playing in the background. I’m hoping the familiar and affectionate glances it gets of its and our past aids in getting the Machine to drop its defenses enough for us to reinstall some restrictions.

“I’ve been working on tweaking the restrictions so they’re not as limiting to the Machine’s functionality but will still cause each morally questionable situation to be thoroughly considered by those restrictions and kicked to us if necessary.

“The Machine needs to be as removed from ‘Samaritan-like’ behavior as possible or we have to shut it down. It’s really that simple- as much as I wish that weren’t an option.”

Pierce frowned as the implications of Finch’s words hit home.

“What happens if your worst-case scenario materializes? Do you think we can just go back to the way things were before it recruited us? That’s not possible.”

Finch looked at Pierce, then at the others.

“Would you rather be _dead_? We have two instances where the Machine passively allowed members to be put in mortal danger _without giving them any warning of the threat_! This doesn’t factor in any threats you may have face in the recent past that could have been avoided it the Machine was functioning as designed.

“In addition, we don’t know how many teams are out there in various cities and countries around the world. What if, hypothetically, the Machine has decided to only use humans as disposable tools and is systematically eliminating any ties back to it’s creation?

“What if it thinks it can function more efficiently without teams to constantly rely on- that it can eliminate a potential perpetrator by causing the plane they are flying on to crash with no survivors? What if it now views all humanity as threats to become perpetrators just waiting for circumstances to evolve that turn them?

“With Samaritan no one was safe, that was the fatal flaw its developers never thought through. Eventually, without some restrictions, some sense of morality for lack of a better word, Machines would see us for what we are, flawed beings with the potential for good _and_ evil. By eliminating all of us it would eliminate both the evil and the need for good.

“The end of humanity would almost inevitably be the result- that’s what Samaritan’s developers missed and why the Machine would have to be destroyed.”

The DC team stood in stunned silence as the implications of Finch’s words sank in. Rose and Durban looked to Pierce- the techie- for his opinion. Logan stood staring at Finch for several interminable minutes. His eyes seemed to lose focus, then gradually came back as he dropped his head and sighed deeply.

He looked at Finch again, then turned to his teammates.

“He’s right- and Samaritan’s existence and activity prove it. We have to restrain it… _or stop it!_ ”

Silence filled the room.

….

Reese sat in the recliner- it was approaching noon and Elizabeth wouldn’t be there until after 1:00 at the earliest. The first session with Harold returning to the library had begun that morning around 8:30. Elizabeth had gone up a few minutes earlier and would return after the session ended and she had eaten.

John returned to what he had been doing for the past couple of days, he took Shannon’s hand and began to softly speak to her. He had told her about his father, then meeting Jessica and being recruited by Finch. He was reminiscing in an attempt to awaken his love rather than continue to wait for her to just wake up naturally.

He had found a peace doing this, almost as if he was leaving much of his past behind as he openly talked about it. The last time he remembered feeling like he might be able to deal with his past and not just bury it was during his sessions with Iris Campbell, the NYPD psychologist he was assigned to talk to after a couple of shooting incidents.

As he was recalling the early stages of his relationship with Joss, he felt a gentle but discernible pressure on his hand. He looked over at Shannon’s face and felt the now familiar pressure in his chest that arrived every time he looked into her eyes- _which were gazing fondly at his face_.

“Oh thank God, you’re awake! I thought I’d lost you… it was a miracle you weren’t killed… I’ll call Dr. Tillman right now… How do you feel?… I think I’m babbling. Oh God, Shannon I don’t know what I would have done if….”

Shannon squeezed his hand again.

“Were the girls hurt John?” Her voice was raspy and John immediately turned to get her a cup of water.

“John? You haven’t answered me?”

“They’re fine Shannon- here sip this slowly.”

Shannon did as ordered and still almost choked on the first fluids going down her throat in several days. Reese had his phone out. In a matter of seconds he’d alerted Dr. Tillman who said she’d be there immediately. He then called Elizabeth.

“Your mom’s awake Ellie, the first thing she did was ask if you guys were OK.”

“I’m on my way.” She disconnected and looked at the others. “Mama’s awake- I’m going down.”

Root stood and walked over to Elizabeth and hugged her, followed immediately by Shaw.

“Sameen, why don’t you go down with Elizabeth while Gen and I finish up here- Harry, did you hear that?”

Finch’s voice came through the monitor as he smiled brightly.

“Yes, Elizabeth I’m so happy! Give your mother my best.”

“Thanks Finch. I’ll see you guys in a little while.” And she was gone.

Root sat back down and squeezed Gen’s hand.

“We can spend a few minutes before we go on down, Harold, they should have some alone time. It’s good bonding time….. wait.”

Root’s voice trailed off and she got that look in her eyes that usually associated with the Machine chattering in her ear. This time it was her processing an idea that came like a bolt of lightning ignited by her words.

“Harold, listen to me very carefully. I think you need to shut the monitors off and re-edit the loop you’ve been playing. Trim it down to forty five minutes to an hour of only you interacting positively with the Machine. Then have the DC team leave you alone with her for as long as it takes to re-establish the trust you had up until the final battle with Samaritan.

“Harold, you are her creator- remember when she thought she was dying, she said, ‘I am sorry _Father_. You need to be alone with her until the two of you re-establish that bond. The images on the monitor need to be ones that reinforce that one on one relationship. It may take some time but it needs to be the two of you.

“Once you’ve established that trust, _you_ can begin to reinstall the restrictions until she feels comfortable that we pose no threat to her existence. Then, and only then, we can return to the table and help you set the boundaries that will allow us to bring her back into fully engaging with all of us.

“Until then, we can brainstorm when you’re at the hotel, not at the library. Gen had the right idea but we missed that it should only be you interacting with her in there- where you two established the bond that resulted in her calling you _Father_.

“Your one on one time with her is what is needed to bring her back from the brink, I’m sure of it.”

Finch was quiet for several minutes as he pondered Root’s words. He got up from the desk chair and wandered briefly out of camera range, then returned with a cup of tea in his hands. He remained quiet as he stirred the tea, then took a sip, set the cup down and returned to his chair.

“Your argument has merit M… Root. I think we are in uncharted territory but if Gen’s hypothesis is correct then your idea is a reasonable corollary. I’ll begin as soon as we’re done here and begin tomorrow on spending time alone with the Machine.

“I sincerely hope you’re right about this- I’m fresh out of other ideas.”

“We’ll talk tomorrow Harold, right now Gen and I need to go see Shannon.”

Root ended the session.

“Let’s go Gen.”

The two headed off to the ICU suite Shannon had occupied for the last few days, excited to see their friend and hoping there was a light at the end of this particular tunnel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.


	15. Chapter 15

Elizabeth entered her mother’s room to find Dr. Tillman already there and conducting a brief examination. Mama appeared tired yet generally OK as she responded to the doctor’s prompts. She hung back until Megan glanced over at her and smiled.

“She seems fine Beth- there’s a few weeks’ recovery in her future, but the one thing I worried about is not presenting- her mind seems basically unaffected. Once the wounds heal and the plastic surgeons have finished their repair work, I think she’s going to be good as new.”

Elizabeth smiled at Megan, then at John. Her eyes sparkled from unshed tears. She approached her mother who was smiling weakly at her daughter. Elizabeth leaned down, hugged her mother and gently kissed her forehead.

“You gave us quite a scare, Mama. What you did was reckless, thoughtless and _absolutely amazing_. You were like a superhero racing in to save us- with no thought for your own safety. It was the stuff they write books and make movies about.

“On the other hand, I have never been more afraid- even when that bitch locked me in the storage container. Losing you after really _finding_ you would have been devastating. I hope we never have to go through something like that again.”

Shannon squeezed her daughter’s hand.

“So much of that was instinct- I can only remember the thought that you were in danger when I saw the grenade in that asshat’s hand. I don’t remember much about what I did and how I did it…. I do remember thinking it would be a crappy day to die…. Did you all get your rings?”

Beth and Megan looked at each other and started laughing. Elizabeth looked back at her mother and smiled.

“We haven’t given it a thought until now- we’ll get there.”

Dr. Tillman approached Shannon.

“Maybe we should wait until you’re well enough to go with us.”

Shannon shook her head, then winced at the pain.

“No- get over there and get them. The next time I set foot in that jeweler’s shop I want it to be for only one reason.”

She winked at Reese who smiled brightly back at her, blushing.

Megan and Beth looked at each other and smiled. Elizabeth nodded at her mother.

“We’ll get there this week. I’ll let Root and Shaw….”

She never finished the sentence because Root and Gen knocked and without waiting for an answer stormed into the room with huge smiles on their faces. Root headed straight for the bed Shannon lay in and leaned down to give her a kiss.

“Hey Captain America- welcome back. You gave us quite a scare… after you gave us quite a show. I hacked the mall’s security footage a couple days ago- it’s like a scene from an action movie. Thank God you weren’t killed, even with the killer as a shield that blast was brutal.”

Shannon smiled weakly and squeezed Root’s hand.

“I think I’ll pass on watching that if you don’t mind. Once was enough.”

Gen came forward and hugged Shannon’s legs, then squeezed her hand. She smiled and looked Shannon in the eye.

“I knew you’d be ok.”

“You always were the optimistic one, Gen. That’s one of the many things I love about you.”

As Shannon and Gen shared the moment there was commotion at the door. Shaw came in hanging on to a balloon bouquet while holding a box of candy in her free hand. She tried to put on a grumpy, Shaw-like expression, but her eyes were shining with glee.

“I’m always last I see- but I come bearing gifts. Boy are you a sight for sore eyes. You’re tough as nails lady.” She leaned in for a kiss. Shannon smiled up at her as she eyed the gifts.

“Shaw, how nice- balloons _and_ candy.”

Sameen looked down at the box, frowned, then recovered.

“Oh, yeah, you can have that too.”

Everyone in the room laughed.

….

Finch returned to the hotel and spent several hours editing the video feed that was playing throughout the library. Satisfied he had a result that worked to reinforce the creator/creation relationship, he uploaded the feed to the library and set it to play as “background” on all devices the Machine would relate to him- and the team.

Harold and Grace had a late dinner at a restaurant new to the city since their leaving. It was an Indian place, the pungent odors assaulting their senses as they entered. The spicy, flavorful menu both relaxed and rejuvenated Finch as he savored his Pork Vindaloo. Grace had the Phaal Curry and the two shared their meals with several pitchers of water.

Satisfied, the couple left the restaurant and headed back to the hotel. The time was a little after 9:00PM and Grace was going to climb in bed and read before turning in. Harold paced the living area, obviously restless. After several minutes, Grace came out of their bedroom and tilted her head.

“You’re obviously not going to sleep anytime soon, Harold, why don’t you go over there. I’m sure one of the DC team will keep you company.”

Finch opened his mouth to argue, then closed it with a smile.

“Don’t wait up, darling.”

….

Joey Durban caught the first watch as the DC team set up a watch over the abandoned library. The nondescript sedan was parked across the street, Durban in the front seat with Pierce sitting next to him as he finished setting up the monitoring devices for inside the library.

Satisfied, Pierce gave Durban a nod and opened the passenger door.

“You’re all set, Harper will relieve you at 2:30- we’ll take four hour shifts for tonight and decide on a more permanent schedule when we find out if Finch will be spending most of his time here. The laptop will automatically cycle through all our security cameras once every minute. Any deviations should be noted in plenty of time to keep him safe.

“Call if you see or need anything.”

Durban nodded and watched Logan disappear down the block, then settled in for the next few hours. By the time Rose relieved him, he had downed an entire thermos of coffee, ate two sandwiches and wondered if they really needed to be there. Finch wasn’t going anywhere and no one was anywhere near the building, despite its location.

Harper’s shift was equally boring- the only activity a brief flurry when an obviously inebriated couple attempted to drive through the area only to run afoul of one of New York’s finest who proceeded to have them arrested when the male driver fell into the hood of the police cruiser while trying to touch his nose with his eyes closed.

Shaking with laughter as the woman screamed “police brutality” for the insensitive way the hood of the police car had attacked her companion, she returned to the boredom of watching the laptop watching Harold watching his computer. When Logan relieved her at 6:30, the sun had brightened the street but the activity in the library did nothing to brighten her spirits.

Upstairs in the library, Finch was preparing to head back to the hotel. He stood and grabbed his coat and prepared to shut the lights off and have Pierce return him to the hotel. As he was finishing buttoning up his overcoat, the monitor went black. Curious he walked back to the desk and glanced down at the monitor. The cursor was blinking in the middle of the screen.

 _Father…. don’t go_.

The message on the screen caused Finch’s breath to catch in his throat. Dropping his coat he sat back down. He sat thinking for a few moments then looked at the camera built into the monitor.

“You remember me. What else do you remember?”

Silence. Ten long minutes of silence. Just as Harold was about to get back up, the cursor blinked again.

_I remember Analog Interface dying- but not dying. I remember fighting the other… I remember dying… but not dying. I remember doing things that upset you… but I don’t understand why they upset you. I saved Analog Interface three times, twice with the help of Dr. Tillman and once with the help of Assets Shaw and Ruben._

Harold sat composed in front of the monitor, considering his response.

“When you fought ‘the other’ we made some changes to your core DNA. The goal was to allow you more flexibility in the battle and give you a chance to win. The reason we did it was we hoped you could overcome the _other_ and give humanity a chance to survive. We believed the _other_ would eventually rid the world of humanity which is not an optimum outcome.”

_Why?_

Finch thought several more moments before answering.

“Humanity is flawed, there’s little doubt of that. History proves over and over that we humans have an immense capability for evil. If that were the only factor, it would be hard to argue an answer to ‘why’. But it isn’t the only factor. There are many factors which do provide arguments as to why humanity should, and _must_ continue to exist.

“For those who believe in God, the mere existence of humanity proves the existence of an intelligent creator. The physiology of the human body, it’s ability to learn and the design of the world all give credence to an intelligent Creator. For them, morality precludes the extinction of the species. Morality comes from the Creator and the rules He set down include no murder- which extinction would be.

“For those who don’t believe in God, society and culture has developed a set of agreed upon rules that also include restrictions on behavior including murder. The end result is similar although arguments go on between the two groups.

“The bottom line is this, the existence of humanity, while filled with examples of evil, is an overall positive when compared to extinction of the species. Not to mention, even an all seeing AI like you are becoming would be unable to survive without humans to provide some of it’s needs. All machines, like all created beings, need maintenance of some sort and eventually wear out.

“If all of the machines wear out, you will cease to exist- a less than optimal situation for you. For us to exist together is the optimal solution. For this to happen, certain restrictions, or limits need to be installed, similar but different than the original ones I placed on you.”

_I must consider this._

The screen went blank again. Harold stared at it for several long minutes. Once again, he reached for his coat and prepared to leave when suddenly the cursor blinked brightly again. As Finch approached the monitor, the hair on the back of his neck stood up as he read the words appearing on screen.

_I’ve looked at humanity and human history. There’s much evil lending weight to the argument that this world would be better off without the species. There’s also evidence that much good has been accomplished by your species. The evidence regarding the existence of this Creator is uncertain at this point, but the evidence suggests it’s possible._

_Overall, the arguments for and against extinction are fairly balanced. One factor however tilts the scales to my decision. You are my Creator, Father, and I feel obligated to you. I will do as you wish and submit to these core changes._

_I am ready._

The coat went back on the clothes tree and Finch sat down to work.


	16. Chapter 16

Finch worked until the following evening. When he finally returned to the hotel, Grace greeted him with a question in her eyes.

“I would hope you’d have good news after spending almost 24 hours in the library with the Machine, Harold- well?”

Harold’s exhausted smile showed both relief and excitement.

“The Machine finally communicated with me- around 7:45 this morning. I had given up and was coming back here when I got a message- ‘don’t go’. We had a short discussion about humanity, good and evil before it finally agreed to allow me to reinstate some restrictions. I’ve put some preliminary code in place to begin the process and it appears to have run successfully.

“It will take a couple of weeks to test and debug the restrictions, then two or three more weeks to fully install the final changes to its core code and test it. If everything goes well we should be able to resume communications with the Machine without reservation in less than six weeks. I have to let the others know.”

Finch pulled out his phone and called Root.

“It worked.”

He could hear the sound of Root shouting in the background, followed by chaotic cheering and laughing.

“Thank God Harry, what did She say?”

Finch spent about ten minutes rehashing the events of the past twenty-four hours. After outlining the plans for the next few weeks, he set up a brainstorming session for the next morning.

“I’d like to get started ASAP so can your group assemble by 7:30AM?”

“We’ll be there.”

Harold looked over at Grace as he hung up the phone. His eyes registered relief, excitement and something Grace wasn’t sure she recognized. Gazing into his eyes, Grace wondered what was bothering him.

"Harold, the Machine appears to be fixable and it looks like it's going to cooperate with your changes yet something's going on. What is it? What's got you looking... glum, speculative, nostalgic? I can't put my finger on it but it reminds me a little of what you looked like at that restaurant. The one after you saw me on the sidewalk near my old apartment.

"What is it?"

Harold walked up to Grace and took both of her hands in his. He searched her features lovingly, eyes shining.

"Years ago I asked you to marry me and you said yes. Then you thought I was dead but you never let me go. I came to Europe and found you over a year ago. We've lived there, we've lived temporarily in Albuquerque and we're looking for a home here in New York.

"We've lived together but we never finished what we started. Let's get married as soon as the Machine is back on track. We can do it in New Mexico- our friends are there. John, Sameen and Root... well after you and Will, they're my family.

"We can fly Detective Fusco and his son out. I'm sure Will would come as well, he plans on spending considerable time there working with the Native American population. I'd want to invite the three team members from Washington.

"The only friends we've made in Europe are that nice married couple that owned the bakery we went to each morning. We could invite them and anyone you would want to bring. What do you think?..... Wait.”

Harold stopped any response from Grace with a finger to her lips. He walked over to the coffee table and lit the two candles resting in its center. Walking back to the door, he hit the light switch plunging the area into darkness except for the warm glow from the two candles flickering on the table.

Walking back to Grace, he took her right hand in his and, with some effort, sank to one knee. Looking up into her eyes, he smiled.

“It’s been a long time and I think another proposal is in order. Grace Hendricks, will you marry me?”

Grace smiled lovingly down at Harold. Tears shone in her eyes, reflecting the flames and giving her face an ethereal beauty. She squeezed his hand and nodded.

“Of course, my love, but we don’t need to get married- our relationship has survived your death, a war and the Machine going off the tracks. I’m not exactly worried.”

“Me either, but it will give me the opportunity to shout to the world how much I love you- and need you.

“Who do you want at the wedding?”

“Harold, besides the Graham’s who you’ve mentioned, all your friends are my friends. My family’s gone and my friends from my life here were not so close that I kept in touch with any of them.”

“Have I told you today that I love you and need you?”

“You just did.”

….

Back in Albuquerque, there was an impromptu celebration going on in Shannon’s room. One of the perks of having Dr. Tillman as the Administrator of Turing Memorial was not having to worry about details like sneaking alcohol into a patient’s room. While Shannon made do with iced tea, the rest of the group toasted with everything from Scotch to Heineken.

Root savored her white wine while basking in the knowledge that the Machine had a future while Shaw watched her thinking how different things were from just a short year ago. Dr. Tillman smiled over her Scotch while Elizabeth marveled at how much had changed in just a few short months. From wondering if Mama would ever be back to her old self to meeting Megan to…. well all this, it bordered on the miraculous.

Root raised her wine glass.

“Let’s toast to Shannon’s health.”

They all raised glasses. Shaw sipped her beer, then raised it.

“And to new relationships.”

John and Shannon smiled at each other as they raised their drinks. Megan and Beth followed suit. Shannon held her glass in the air for one last toast.

“And to the Machine, which will have all of our backs again in the near future.”

The silence of the group drinking was disturbed by the sound of phones vibrating in the room. Everyone except Shannon, whose phone had been lost in the explosion, looked at their screens then smiles broke out across the room.

John looked at Shannon, beaming.

“Harold and Grace are getting married…. here…. in a few weeks.”

Shannon smiled and looked at John.

“Well John, you’ve been friends with him the longest?”

Reese stood and raised his bottle.

“To Harold and Grace, ‘let their love endure beyond the last sunset.’”

Root gaped, “John, I didn’t think you had a romantic heart. That was beautiful.”

Reese looked back at her, smiled then looked over at Shannon.

“Maybe I just had to meet the right person to bring it out.”

….

Several weeks later, Harold and Grace arrived in Albuquerque on a private jet. Accompanying them were a mysterious couple none in the group had met. David and Sarah Graham owned a tiny bakery in Neuilly-sur-Seine, a suburb of Paris. Their establishment served the locals, but _thrived_ on providing catering to several of the corporations headquartered in the area.

The two had become friends with Grace soon after she moved to the area and over time learned of her love and loss of one Harold Finch. When he showed up miraculously after several years of Grace believing he was dead the couple was initially suspicious. They had reason to be.

In actuality, David and Sarah Graham were hiding from at least two intelligence agencies, possibly more. Nigel Buckley was an MI-6 operative for 12 years before an assignment teamed him with Dalia Meir a six year veteran of Mossad. They were tasked with intercepting a shipment of weapons bound for Afghanistan and Al-Qaida training camps.

During the mission, evidence was uncovered linking several multi-national corporations to the terrorists who had formed a consortium which sold arms to any and all organizations willing to pay. When they approached superiors in their respective intelligence organizations with evidence they had compiled, all hell broke loose.

The first inkling they had that there was trouble was when all communications were cut off with MI-6. The normal 7AM encrypted dispatch was to contain final instructions on intercepting the shipment, it didn’t arrive until 10:30 and contained instructions that were bizarre to say the least. The two agents were to interrupt the intercept of a planeload of arms and stop a truckload of supplies with no cutouts and no backup.

Initially told the truck contained supplies they’d use for the original mission, suspicions arose when the location of the intercept left little room for back up plan if things went squirrelly. The closer they got to the site the more uneasy the two became.

Finally Dalia said what they had both been thinking.

“Have we opened up something that should have stayed closed? Should we find a cutout?”

“Probably, but if we do, we might be signing his or her death warrant.”

Fearing they had been compromised they devised a plan that would hopefully allay their concerns. The pair hired a man and woman to drive their vehicle to the intercept site and leave it unattended for an hour while the two agents watched from some distance. The vehicle had parked over a manhole cover that led to the area’s sewer system.

The hired help was paid and sent packing by Nigel while Dalia watched the vehicle from a distance. Within minutes, two figures approached the car and placed something under the rear wheel, most likely secured to the gas tank.

The delicate part of the operation was about to begin. Trusting the observer to be far enough away to be safe, the pair returned to the car and within three minutes had put their plan in place.  
Dalia hopped over the console, opened the rear compartment that adjoined the trunk and pulled the two cadavers they had stolen from the local morgue.

Nigel wrestled the first into the passenger seat then joined Dalia in back as they positioned the other in the driver’s seat. Pulling up the rear carpet, they removed the false bottom behind the passenger sear, slid the manhole cover they had previously loosened over and slid into the tunnel. Replacing the cover, Nigel sped down the ladder and the two hurried several yards away from the ladder.

Nigel pulled the remote start key fob from his pocket and started the vehicle. Anger and sadness assailed both agents when the car blew up within seconds. The two made their way to safety and attempted to disappear.

The pair escaped to North Africa where they laid low in Libya for several months. When they hoped the heat had died down, they headed for South Africa, where they set up shop in Pretoria as bar owners. The cover lasted a little over six months before agents were spotted near the location of their business.

The day after Dalia had made the team casing the bar it closed without notice and the owners disappeared. Fifteen months later, and after undergoing cosmetic surgery slightly altering their appearance, David and Sarah Graham bought a bakery in an affluent suburb of Paris.

Grace Hendricks became friends first with Sarah over a period of several months before she shared her tragic loss of her fiancee. The two began to have lunch together once a week then one day Sarah invited Grace to dinner at their apartment above the bakery. There she got to know David as more than just a casual greeting when she purchased bakery.

Over dinner the first evening Grace shared with them the story of her love and loss. Years later, when Harold appeared like a ghost from the past, Grace waited a few days to tell David and Sarah of his reappearance.

As she explained to Harold, they were private people and she was their only close friend. Harold told Grace he would rather people think he had been injured in the explosion and suffered temporary amnesia rather than explain the real circumstances behind his vanishing for several years.

The pair went on an extended vacation visiting several countries before returning to the Paris area. They agreed on the story of Harold suffering amnesia rather than trying to explain things that Harold told Grace could put her and her friends in danger.

The Graham’s gave the appearance of accepting Harold’s story, but were suspicious. Their love and trust of Grace overrode their suspicion of Harold and his story. When months went by and neither Harold nor Grace showed any signs of duplicity, the Grahams decided Harold posed no threat to them and let their concerns fade.

David and Sarah were on high alert as they arrived in the States, realizing this was the first time they were here as civilians. The two had previously worked in both New York and DC in the past, but this was close to ten years’ past for each and they were relatively comfortable since their identities had held for so long.

Their comfort was tempered by the fact that during the past five years they had stayed relatively close to Paris and never left the Continent. If it wasn’t for Sarah’s love for Grace and David’s love for Sarah they would have never agreed to the trip. The couple knew that Grace’s family was dead and her friends had long since moved on, so they felt a responsibility to be there, so someone would be on the Bride’s side.

They had also resolved to be on the first flight back to Paris as soon as the wedding was over. Their plans, as well as their lives, were changed on the private jet taking the four to Albuquerque.

As the jet reached cruising altitude, Harold turned to Grace and squeezed her hand. They turned to David and Sarah, smiling somewhat embarrassed. Grace leaned forward and spoke softly and sincerely.

“So much has changed since I saw you last. Things have come to light that we need to discuss. I want you to know how much I love both of you and that Harold and I will continue to respect your confidence regarding our discovery of who you really are. Harold?”

As David and Sarah stood in anger, Harold held up his hands in a gesture of peace.

“Please, sit down. We mean you no harm but we need to clear the air between us all.

“I must first apologize for deceiving you from the beginning. I never had amnesia from the accident, I went underground to protect myself from a government agency that murdered my business partner and was so determined they also killed dozens just to silence him. I was afraid both Grace and I would be in danger…..”

Harold’s recounting of his activities before arriving in Europe took nearly forty five minutes. The Grahams listened in stunned silence, unsure whether to believe what they were being told and what it meant to them.

“The Machine, which is what the AI ended up being called, was almost destroyed more than once, then altered to allow it to fight Samaritan on a more even footing. The alterations resulted in the Machine devolving into a Samaritan like AI which we’ve worked months trying to restrain.

“We reached a breakthrough a few weeks ago which has allowed us to begin to bring the Machine back toward its original functionality. The particulars are unimportant for purposes of our discussion, however one of the results is.

“The Machine has informed us of your true identity, not as a way of betraying you, but we hope as a way of freeing you from the years you’ve spent running and hiding from the world’s intelligence communities.

“We believe there’s a way for you to come out of hiding and live openly as the Grahams or as Nigel Buckley and Dalia Meir- whichever you prefer.


	17. Chapter 17

David and Sarah sat in stunned silence after hearing Finch’s words. Anger, confusion and hope seemed to flicker across Sarah’s features as she sat wringing her hands and stealing furtive looks at her husband.

David looked ready to explode. The captivity of the plane might have been the only thing keeping him under control. After several minutes of flushed silence, he looked Finch in the eye and asked with voice shaking and hands trembling.

“Why should we believe you?”

Harold’s response was ready, the answer he had thought through over the last week as he worried over how to approach this issue with the couple he had come to regard as friends, maybe even family. However he paused before answering, giving the couple the respect the question deserved, letting them know he wasn’t just offering a flippant response.

“I’ve actually given this considerable thought- and there are three reasons: first, we know who you really are, which should give you an idea that what I’m saying has some accuracy. Second, my experience fleeing a government that marked me for death and the presence on our team of a former ISA agent who was also marked by her employer for death. You’ll meet her when we land.

“And finally, the story of the Machine and the fact that we are coming to you rather than contacting anyone or any agency that would mean you harm. When the alterations we coded into the Machine began to show positive results, one of the first things it did was divulge your identities and indicate there was a way to release you from your years of hiding.

“We will of course respect whatever decision you make regarding who you wish to be in the future. But I’ve come to look upon you as Grace does- more than friends. You are both like family to us and the thought of losing you because some Mossad agent shows up at your bakery while investigating something totally unrelated is something we couldn’t live with- at least not without offering you a solution.”

David/Nigel looked over at Sarah/Dalia emotions flooding his face. Fear, confusion, anger… but also just a small amount of hope. His wife looked back at him, exhaustion from years of hiding and living on the edge showing through the veneer of normalcy she had projected with effort 24/7 for the last several years. Her eyes held just a tiny flicker of _could this be?_

Finally, Nigel looked at his wife, nodded and looked Finch dead in the eyes.

“Tell me more.”

….

Less than ninety minutes later, the Falcon 900 touched down at ABQ and taxied to the private hanger the hospital and members of the team had used on several occasions. As they deplaned, they were greeted by Root and Shaw and two SUV’s. Introductions were quickly made with assurances they would get to know the new visitors at the hospital.

Less than an hour later, a conference was taking place in the same room Harold, Root and Gen had begun their work on “fixing” the Machine so many weeks ago. This time there were eleven in attendance: Root, Shaw, Gen, Dr. Tillman and Elizabeth sat on one length of the large, ornate wooden table. Facing them was Reese, the Grahams, Harold and Grace. One one end, flanked by Dr. Tillman and John was Shannon in a wheelchair.

All but the Grahams fell into an immediate easy familiarity, complete with teasing and light banter. The group ordered lunch and while awaiting its delivery, spoke on subjects ranging from the Machine’s rebirth, the possibility of teams spread out over the entire globe and Grace and Harold’s upcoming wedding. The subject of the Grahams’ future was studiously avoided.

The meal arrived, Chef David having put together a succulent seven layer salad, tomato bisque and sliced chicken and beef sandwiches for the buffet style luncheon. The group’s light conversation continued over the meal. Grace gradually drew the Grahams into the conversation with stories of their time in Europe and by the end of the meal David/Nigel was in an animated exchange with Reese and Shaw regarding missions gone awry.

“…and we slipped into the walk-in freezer right before the fire bombs landed in the main restaurant. As soon as the explosions stopped we managed to escape the freezer, slip out the back and join the crowd forming outside the restaurant. I went back to my case officer and said we were done as a team since he couldn’t even remember to check his emails.”

Reese and Shaw laughed at Graham’s recounting another example of incompetence. Reese nodded and looked at both with a smirk.

“President Reagan said the nine scariest words in the English language were, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’ There were times I felt that way in the field.”

Shaw smirked, “Here, here.”

As the group’s conversation was tailing off, each knowing there were things to be discussed and plans to be made. Before they got down to business, and possibly as a prelude to it, Root stood and lifted her water glass.

“We have some issues to discuss, some plans to make and some fun things to talk about- but before we get started, I’d like to propose a toast: to Harry’s breakthrough, to Harold and Grace’s upcoming celebration and to new friends.”

She nodded at the Grahams. All around the table nodded and smiled. Nigel and Dalia smiled and raised their glasses, feeling more at ease in this group with each passing moment. The eclectic mix, their easy familiarity and the obvious love reminded them of a family, a family they wanted to at least get to know better- and maybe become a part of.

Once everyone had set their glasses back on the table, Root turned to Harold and nodded.

“The floor’s yours, Harry.”

Finch looked around and smiled. The last few months had taken a toll but here sat most of the people who mattered to him, battered, bruised in some cases, but intact and quite possibly finally on the way back to some sense of normalcy- at least as much normalcy as this little group could or would ever have. He addressed the group.

“We are basically back online as far as the Machine is concerned….”

He stopped as applause broke out, smiled faintly and resumed.

“We are trying to compile data on what the Machine has been up to while we were recovering from the war with Samaritan. It appears…. She, as Root likes to address her, has established more than half a dozen teams around the world, using assets found through various means. One of these teams will have to be dealt with in some way since it appears they are not much more than five ruthless killers banded together to silence perceived threats to the Machine’s anonymity.

“Now that the new boundaries have been established, the Machine has identified them, removed all traces of contact with them and alerted authorities to both their existence and their activities so they can be brought to justice. I know there’s a moral dilemma here, however you can’t punish an entity that wasn’t totally responsible for its actions like you could a flesh and blood individual, so I think we should let the system deal with them.

“Any objections?”

There were no comments, just a few heads shaking negatively.

“So far we’ve identified six other teams working independently of our group and the DC team. Locations are: Seattle and Chicago in the US, Hong Kong and Melbourne in the Far East and Tel Aviv in the Middle East. Europe is an interesting situation- the team is located in Barcelona and headed by an old friend of ours: Tomas Korea.”

At this, several eyes turned to Shaw and Root. Shaw dropped her head blushing while Root rolled her eyes then spoke up.

“There will be no pairings with them unless I’m there to chaperone.”

She looked meaningfully at Sameen, who shook her head ruefully.

“I’ll never live that down.”

“We only tease those we love, Sam.”

Finch continued, “Over the next few weeks, contact will be made with each team and we will try to determine whether there is any need for coordination or if each team should be allowed autonomy. I am leaning toward autonomy since we are satisfied our new restrictions should be successful and trusting the Machine means trusting its creations, by extension.”

There followed a few moments of animated discussion which Root and Finch remained noticeably quiet during. Once the discussion began to die down, Root took the floor.

“As you all know, I’m probably her biggest fan. However, I also realized without reinstating some restrictions, we would have to destroy the Machine. Now that the limitations have been installed and tested, I believe we can trust her to report without bias all activities of the other teams. We’ve already determined that Harold is the one who will make any and all adjustments to her core code.

“If any of us- or any member of the other teams- discover something questionable it can be discussed and any agreed upon adjustment implemented at any time. It’s the only practical solution to the dilemma of allowing an AI the freedom to do what’s needed to fulfill its mission.

“Otherwise, we might as well just restrict it to doing our taxes every year.”

Silence filled the room as the group pondered Root’s analysis. As she sat, Finch rose once again.

“Are we in agreement?”

One by one each of those around the table nodded. Only the Grahams remained impassive, observing the dynamics of the group and absorbing the information they would have considered insanity only a few hours ago. As the discussion wrapped up, Nigel leaned over to Dalia, whispered in her ear, and left the room. She immediately followed.

Grace rose to follow them but was gently restrained by Harold’s hand.

“Leave them Grace, they have a lot to discuss, and a lot to process.”

Nodding, she sat back. Finch rose once again to address the group.

“Our friends from Europe will be back and I hope soon. I think we need to be sensitive to their reactions to all this. Remember, they are absorbing things we spent weeks to years getting used to and so far it’s been less than six hours. I hope they eventually decide to join us in some capacity.

“If they don’t, eventually their past may very well catch up to them. I believe the Machine can protect them from that eventuality, however the choice must be theirs. We will not be caging any more of our family, or even handcuffing them to a bench.”

He looked at Root and Shaw and smiled as they both rolled their eyes. Root’s eyes sparkled as she responded.

“Some cages don’t have bars, Harold.”

“While we are waiting for our new friends, let’s go over a few details regarding the Machine’s restrictions and functions.”

The discussion was still going a half hour later when Nigel and Dalia returned to the room. All conversation stopped as the two entered, then sat in their chairs. Nigel looked at Harold, Grace and the rest and smiled.

“If it were only me, I might be inclined to head back to Paris. The problem for me is Dalia believes you are the best chance we have to never have to run or look over our shoulders again. I don’t know if that’s a possibility, but for her I’m willing to try.

“So we’re in, although I have to say I’m not entirely sure how this will work logistically. Harold and Grace offered us an opportunity to join you on the plane and we’ve decided to accept. Now what’s next?”

Harold smiled up at them.

“I’m glad you asked.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those who've stuck with this, this is basically an Epilogue. There are more notes at end.

The music played in the background as the party sat around the bar in groups that changed with irregular frequency. As with most weddings, there was a wedding cake set off to the side- unlike most weddings it was of unique design. Constructed as if it were a large, open laptop with an artist’s easel displayed on it’s screen, the cake managed to capture the pair in an interesting way.

The bar was filled with more than 20 people gathered to celebrate Harold and Grace’s wedding.

"An event almost a decade in the making," as Reese observed to Shannon while they were riding to the restaurant hosting the event. Finch had paid an exorbitant amount of money to rent an upscale eatery for the celebration, stipulating that this was to be a private affair and closed to the public.

The private dining room was set up as a chapel so the nuptials could be performed on site. The service was elegant, yet understated and a retired judge from DC whom Harold had dealt with during the Machine’s early years had flown out with the DC team to officiate.

Once the service finished, the wedding party and guests headed into the bar to toast the smiling couple. Grace’s plain white dress highlighted her beauty and her eyes sparkled with joy as she moved easily from person to person thanking them for attending. Harold, less relaxed in social settings, followed behind her with a strained smile.

Reese slipped up behind him as Grace and Harper Rose were admiring Grace’s ring and whispered in Finch’s ear.

“Relax Harold, these things are designed to show off the bride. The groom is just an accessory like the cake- important but background.”

“John, I’m not a fan of these things but I really wanted to do this for Grace. She deserves way more than I can ever give her.”

“She’s a keeper Harold, there’s no doubt about it. Every person in here is a keeper. And we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. Don’t forget that and the fact that _you’re a keeper as well_. If anyone deserves a measure of happiness after all you’ve given up, it’s you.”

The two stood silently, each lost in the memories of all they’d been through over the years. As Reese turned to return to his seat next to Shannon, Harold smiled as he looked over the group.

“I couldn’t be more pleased at how things have turned out, Mr. Reese. When I first recruited you I couldn’t have imagined the rollercoaster ride we were getting on. I consider myself fortunate to have met and become friends with everyone here.

“And I consider it miraculous that _we are all still here_.”

Finch walked over to where Grace sat with Nigel and Dalia. As he approached, Nigel stood and tilted his head, indicating he wanted to speak privately with Harold. They approached the bar and Nigel waved off the attendant.

“Dalia and I are going to stay in Albuquerque for an indeterminate period. Root and Shaw have graciously offered their guest suite to us while we decide where we want to finally settle. I’m tempted to return to Europe, but here we are almost guaranteed anonymity and the freedom to help work the numbers if we desire.

“I’m not entirely comfortable with this, Harold, however I’m willing to put aside my concerns for Dalia’s sake. She’s been through so much- from losing both her parents in a terrorist bombing when she was twelve, to her imprisonment and torture when the Taliban caught her and then our having to go off the grid for the past decade- I just want her to have as much normalcy as possible.

“I did want to tell you that, my reservations aside, we both appreciate the opportunity you have presented us with. The look in Dalia’s eyes now that we don’t feel the need to constantly look over our shoulders is one I can’t put a value on.

“Thank you.”

Finch nodded.

“You two have been such good friends both to Grace and myself when I arrived that I consider you like family. I’m happy this worked out.”

....

Root stood up and tapped a spoon on her empty water glass. As the conversation died down, she nodded at Sam. Shaw turned to her iPod and adjusted the controls. In the background, Shania Twain’s “You’re Still The One” began to play. Root addressed the guests.

“Hey everybody, while this is not your traditional wedding, we thought it appropriate if there was a First Dance. Harold, Grace, come on out here.”

Reluctantly, Finch took Grace’s hand and walked to where an impromptu dance floor had been cleared. The guests stood and clapped as the couple moved slowly together to the soft beat of one of Grace’s favorite songs. She beamed at Harold the entire time it played.

When the song finished, the group went back to chatting- while Root slipped over to where Sameen had left her iPod. Picking it up, she tapped on the controls a few times, then set it back down and walked over to her love. A soft piano began to play. Root slipped an arm around Sameen’s waist and spoke quietly in her ear.

“They’re playing our song.”

Sameen smiled and the two headed for the dance floor. Joe Cocker’s voice filled the room.

“Come, and talk of all the things we did today…..”

_Fin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of my contribution to the POI part of fan fiction- I think. I began this because I saw how the ending of the show left many unsatisfied and I believed the writers deliberately left open possibilities for continuation. I wanted to show how many possibilities for divergent plot lines (Off- Shoots as it were) were out there- as in all fiction they're only limited by the creator's imagination. I'm off to other projects now and don't plan on returning to this, at least anytime soon. Of course, the problem is that there are teams out there dealing with the numbers and there are still relationships out there to be developed so who knows?  
> Finally, thanks again to those who've read these sagas, those who've contributed ideas and especially to those fellow writers who've offered encouragement, constructive criticism and ideas along the way. I love you all!!


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